broken mirror

2010-04-04T00:33:00.002+08:00

www.shoveupthosehotstuffs.onsugar.com

find me there okay! love y'all! :)

2010-04-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

i don't know much
but i know i love you

i didn't do anything much today. woke up in the morning to send my sis off to her chinese class. went to nenek's house while waiting for her class to end. i'm glad nenek is fine :) she cooked noodles, though there was alot of cabbages, it's still tastes great. she was kindda upset cos i refuse to eat up my vegetables. she said when she was taking care of me, i ate my vege and i had nice soft clear skin and i was a strong girl. now i'm not lol. so cute. grandmothers hahaha.

met Ikadjon after that yeay! spent some quality time with her at my place. we watched SKINS! i showed her my so handsome boyfriend of course, Luke! ^.^ she agreed with me, she said he's cute. see Syiqin has good taste muahahaha :D halfway throughout the show, she went home :( it's okay. gonna spend some time with her soon, i hope!

i'm jealous when Exes get to work things out, see them happy. lol. it seems so easy for them. naaah, it's not like i'm wishing things would be the same for me too. i'm a loser. i believe in waiting for things to happen, not making them work. if it doesn't happen, means it's not meant to be. see? i'm a coward, i know. tsktsk.

"To unreveal true love is the fastest route to the heart." -Warren Peace, Sky High.

TV time xoxo

2010-04-03T00:31:00.006+08:00

swallow the words that i was meant to say
the way that i feel the way that i'll remember this
i've only got forever and forever is fine
just take your time

Yuyul and bro

pictures of yesterday's events. Supperclub's cushions and beds were tempting me to go to sleep but i didn't even wanna sit on it, everybody was stepping on them. so disgusting. didn't take alot of pics though. most of the time i was only thinking about my bed lol.

last party for now. i'll resume back once i turn 18 hahaha. i think.

birthday girl, Puteri. there's only one pic of a girl posing solo, that's her! :) see her red streaks? baru buat tu hahaha! yesterday was bad hair day. my fringe was all over and my hair kept sticking to my face. rimas! i'm officially totally disgusted by my hair colour now. my highlights are turning dirty yellow. can you believe it? YELLOW!? omg i don't even favour blonde hair lah. yellow is even worse. gonna dye my hair soon. i've been thinking to go back to basic colours, like brown or black. suddenly i find basics pretty. ala i say only! later you see my hair become red. Lol.

should i remain having bangs or proper side fringe? bangs are so annoying cos i have to trim it around fortnightly and it curls into a c-shape whenever i sweat, which is like all the time lol. but i like my bangs, i don't have to worry about having a bad hair day. side fringes are usually long fringe then parted to the side. it's kindda easier to manage. but somehow i don't think it suits me. and plus, it contributes alot to bad hair days. hmm..

you just want to be significant in my life. you don't want me to forget you. so once you're done making sure that you're still needed, you'll leave. fuck.

goodnight.

2010-04-02T15:32:00.002+08:00

went to the polyclinic yesterday. i told the doctor what happened to me on Wednesday and said that maybe i'm just too tired and that i just need an MC. then she said, "do you know that your throat is quite red?" so much for thinking to pay only for the MC and consultation fee only, now with medicines too. LOL. met Cat after that to help her settle some school stuffs. then went to Han's crib. she waited downstairs while i went up to his house. initial plan was to give him an April Fool scare but it didn't work out cos his grandma scared me -.-

Supperclub sucks. went there with Aisya Yuyul Ali Yuyul's abang and Yuyul's abang's friend. i hate the songs there, damn boring. R&B and those techtonic electronic kind. i should have checked out the genre of the event first. damn it. i spent most of my time leaning against the pole, trying to control myself from falling asleep. there were even retro songs. can you believe it, RETRO!? wtf. the nice songs were played on random, at the most unexpecting times and very little too. banyak matreps and minahreps seh. the guys were very persistent, so damn annoying. i wish Helmi or Puvan was there. well it's not like i can't protect myself or anything. at least i feel much safer :( i wasted my 22bux. FML. atleast i saw a very handsome bouncer. handsome gile oi hehehe! :P he stopped the guy from doing something funny with me. aiseymannn touched nye hahaha! ^.^ sempat seh Syiqin -.-

i don't know how i developed rash on my right hand. it happened yesterday while we were queueing up to enter the club. i thought it was due to the sweat and all but it still itches now, and i've bathed already. why eh? hmm..

had this particular conversation with Cat yesterday when i met her. it still keeps me wondering till now. well it's actually mainly posted to guys so yeah. when those single guys go around playing with girls' hearts and collecting them like collectibles, they're hardly attached. they go around with all sorts of girls, and end up breaking their hearts just like that. but when they go into a relationship, what do they really look for in a girl? since they have had a go on all types of girls, what makes the girl he's attached to special? i'm curious.

craving for Banana Nut Crunch cereal.

Tumblr time xoxo.

2010-03-31T19:47:00.005+08:00

through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
for better, for worse
i will love you with every beat of my heart

i fell sick at work today. it started out with sinus, which then grew into a really bad flu. after lunch, i started coughing really badly. i felt weak the entire day, like i'm gonna collapsed anytime soon. my work progressed badly, probably 10 times worse than usual. Michael asked if i was okay or not, i said no. i felt so sick. he said i don't look alright, not as cheerful and bubbly like always. i've been looking so tired lately, so distraught which is unusual cos i'm still young and youngsters are usually the ones who are bust of energy and spirit. yes i am tired and i am distracted thank you very much for noticing. he told me to get an MC tmr. i told him straight, i don't like this field of expertise. he asked what do i like, i answered Public Relations. then he advised me to take this 6 months as experience, who knows it might be of good use in the future. he explained that Public Relations isn't everything about going out and meeting people always, they also have reports to do. so in his opinion, i should just complete my diploma. i'm still young and i have lots of choices to choose from. sigh. you know, i'm glad he's my overall in-charge. he's understanding, judging from his opinions about my confusion of life. i don't mind opening up to him about how much this course sucks but personally i think, unless i don't jeopardise the company with my standard of work, he'll be fine with whatever my opinions are. i think. lol.

gonna visit the doctor first thing in the morning tmr. mom can never afford to send me to private clinics now cos i'm neither my brother nor my sis. so yeah, i have to endure those long waiting hours at the polyclinic. so dreadful. by the time it's my turn to see the doctor, i'll be fine already. awesome shit.

tonight, shall discuss with Aisya and Sue about Puteri's birthday tmr. that girl ah, involving her with plans is so stressful. hahaha JOKE! naaah, it's gonna be fun i hope :)

one question. how come i can have great plans for my friends but never for my boyfriend? usually when i'm attached, my plans always fail whenever it comes to boyfriend. LOL. weird.

i wanna rest now. omg i hate sneezing, feels like dying. i hate being so weak. this is what happens when i don't take those supplements which mummy buys for me regularly.

goodnight.

2010-03-30T20:56:00.006+08:00

let's just go back to the start
quitting is out of the question

work was boring today, cos Martin took halfday and Michael never really check on me that much. plus, that stupid David faggot was away at port. so the whole of today, i was fb-ing, twitter-ing, creating a new blog and also, being an extra receptionist. LOL. there enough said to explain my day at work.

so i spent my ample free time thinking of what to do for myself in the future. first step, school. well i've always had an interest in sports and theatre since young. i don't think anybody knows this part about me cos i don't speak about it much. oh well. i didn't participate in any sports clubs during secondary school days cos Fuhua Sec's coaches are biased. they love the chinese so much, it's so obvious lah. i don't have the time too cos apparently that time, i was juggling with 3rd language and Higher Malay cos i thought i was going to take the jc path lol. so yes that explains it huh. when i entered poly, i was with sports for a while then stopped cos i've lost the commitment spirit. with boyfriend and stuff, i just couldn't manage. fyi, boyfriend that time WAS NOT SUPPORTIVE. AT ALL. so yeah, that's another reason. sad life isn't it? i know.

considering whether to join a cca after attachment is over and when school reopens for semester 2. it's not like i have a choice anyway. in the whole of my entire Year 1, i only managed to achieve 6 pathetic points whereas other peeps have more than ten i think. so yeah, i'm thinking of joining sports, most probably with Sue. i need to shed off some fats too. but the one thing i hate about sports is, tryouts. i hate individual competition, i always feel that i'm at the losing end. but if i work in a team, i'm so competitive hahaha. anyway, i doubt that'll be obstacles now, eg: relationships. if i get a boyfriend who's supportive, though he doesn't really favour with whatever i'm doing despite it being a good thing and it makes me happy, won't it be fantastic? i'll be so in high spirits if he would just tell me this, "i know you can do it". awww so sweet... hahaha. naah, fat chance that will ever happen cos i'm not even interested in being attached for now. guys are jerks, some.

daddy made for Syiqin Sabrina this diy milkshake(?) for fun. it tasted a bit like milo, HL Vanilla and oreo cookies. so much for wanting to cut down on sweet stuff, failed! :( it was delicious, my dad always makes the sweetest made-up desserts. i won't be shocked if i have diabetes in the future. okay mustn't curse myself. unexpected things have been happening recently thanks to my mouth. must drink lots of plain water before going to bed. healthy :) oh yes! did i mention about creating a new blog just now? i think i did. haha okay, i created an Onsugar blog account. i don't think i'm gonna stick to Blogger already, it's a hassle whenever i wanna change the template. so once i'm done with my new blog, i'll announce yeah? currently in construction v^.^v

tmr stock take at work. can't wait for thursday, the start to holidays! ikadjon i miss you :(

goodnight.

2010-03-29T20:14:00.003+08:00

save your heart for someone that's worth dying for
so give it away

today was my first attempt of cutting down on my food consumption. i skipped lunch cos i have lots of work to do. it's my second time doing that already. so in the end, i ate my bread for lunch -.- then i took two bites of the chocolate bar from the pantry to reward myself for the hard work i've done. i resisted myself from gobbling down the entire chocolate bar since i didn't have a proper meal, tempting much! but i told myself, i can eat another two more bites tmr. surprisingly it helps! by the time i reached home just now, had my dinner. three scoops of rice, one round only. usually i can take up to three rounds, and still famished. i was still hungry. had an apple for dessert since i didn't stock up my cherry tomatoes supply. ate it super slowly so that my stomach would be able to digest my food completely and hence, make me full. overall, watching my diet attempt day 1- success! :D

i'm considering whether to quit school or ask for a transfer of courses. i really want my Integrated Events course but i know SP doesn't offer me. it was my first choice and although i made it for its cut off point, i still didn't get it. well too bad for me. i don't know whether i can continue to pursue my current course or not, i'm having doubts. i've lost every motivation in me. i have thoughts of enrolling into a private institution, but that will cost me a nuclear bomb. not only that, i think my mum will throw me out of the house. okay that's not true at all scratch that last line. i confided in Puvan about this, he said don't quit. just continue cos it's good for my future. rather suffer now than later since the pay is undeniably superb. but in my opinion, what's the point of continuing if i don't have a single interest in it? i'll be forcing and slogging myself on something which i don't like and i'm gonna end up like Holly (Hilary Swank) in P.S: I Love You. oh btw, she's the lead actress in the movie in case you're wondering. seriously i don't know. what happened to that little girl in me who used to have big dreams and would work so hard for it, so very determined? i think she died already, unknowingly. how sad. i need to start having an aim in life, but i need help. or should i say, i need the courage and strength to move forward? yes that's it. i need a strong foundation to do so. i don't wanna die of no goals in life at such a young age. that'll be a huge disappointment for both my parents, and my beloved grandma too. i don't wanna end up being a housewife. gosh life's tough.

let's think positive. at least there's something for me to look forward to this week. public holiday this friday, and i'm not working this weekend too! so which means my holidays start on the Thursday's night. can't wait!

i need to shrug off those degradable comments about me. i need to feel weightless about life. i need a goal! ♥

goodnight.

2010-03-29T00:05:00.004+08:00

as stated in the previous post, the plan did go smoothly. met Aisya at Bugis cos she wanted to buy that pair of shoes and a top at Bugis Street for school. the shoes she bought were gorgeous but sadly, there's a small platform beneath. if there wasn't any platform probably i would have bought it too but i'm just not born to wear heels. i'll definitely fall on my butt, again -.- so anyway, went to have lunch at KFC at Bugis Junction while waiting for Sue to arrive. when she did, we headed back to Bugis Street to get my tragus piercing. well actually, Aisya was being nice and patient with me to waste time walking around and stuff so that i can finally decide whether to pierce or not. believe me, it was a tough decision to make! i think i took 2hours or so to decide? i was scared of the pain. eventually i did, ta-da! the way the stud glistens, i likeeee ^.^ thanks Aisya and Sue for those encouraging words, and for letting me squeeze both of your hands also :) padehal tak sakit seh -.-

proceeded to Henderson Waves soon after the piercing. it was Syiqin Aisya's first time, jakun! :P the distance along the bridge was like what, 2.1km? but we did stop by here and there to take pics lol. when we reached the end of the bridge, i thought it was over but no. we still had to walk up the hill and it was so annoying cos it was uphill and i'm sweating like hell cos i wore my leather jacket and i couldn't take it off cos of certain reasons. endured! then FINALLY, we arrived at that circular round shelter thingy. the scenery was beautiful but i guess luck wasn't on our side at that point of time. Aisya's camera battery died halfway :( nevertheless, we just chilled out. around 7.15pm, Sue told us to walk out of the place cos it was getting dark and plus, Aisya was already falling asleep due to the nice chilly wind -.- we went out and followed the tracks and markings and directions cos Sue wasn't really very familiar with the place. we were walking down the hill, talking crap, laughing our asses off like nobody's business and storystory here and there and that's where the scary part began:

it was getting really dark. we came across a few crossroads however, there was a particular one that kindda freaked us out. we chose the one that led us to the MRT but as we started to descend down the stairs, we had a bad feeling about the path we took. since there were three of us, i was kindda superstitious cos i remembered mummy telling me never to go out late at night in odd numbers. so i volunteered to stand in front, kindda lead the way. halfway, i stopped in my tracks cos i had a very strong bad feeling that it wasn't exactly a safe path. it was dark and a long way down, with no lights at all. i told them to take the main road though it's longer, at least it's safer. so we went to the other route. as we were walking down, we started chatting laughing again. then i started to tell this story about these few school kids who got lost in a jungle in Malaysia because orang bunian took them away. HOW FOOLISH CAN I BE!? Aisya and Sue just kept quiet while i told them the story. you know what? i can never keep my mouth shut. no wonder they kept quiet, seriously wrong place and timing for it. then when i was about to come to the climax, the surroundings just changed. it suddenly became so dark and the air was of a different chill. there was a bat flying over our heads. A BAT? i quickly said whether any one of them has songs in their phones, turn them on. Aisya turned on "Razor" (is the title correct?) and we walked hastily. when we finally get out of that path, we reached another crossroad. we were all alone. there was a map. Sue and I were trying to figure out which route to take. OMG I HATE CROSSROADS AND MAPS. luckily there were these two men who came, around their 40s i think. i thought they were trying to be cheeky with us but when Sue plucked up the courage to ask about the routes, they told us which one is safe for us to take. then this is what one of them said to us,

"cepat-cepat jalan. sini bahaya."- walk quickly. it's dangerous here.

three of us were speechless. i thanked them and we quickly walked away. Aisya said they waited for us to walk off safely before they continued walking to wherever they were heading to. eventually, we got out of the entire place and saw Vivo. thank god.

met Puteri at Seah Im, had our dinner there. Ice kachang and Ayam penyet, we shared of course hahaha. then yadayadayada, home :)

today was an adventure. i should learn how to shut my mouth at the correct timings. i cannot listen to my iPod now for a few days cos of my piercing, it hurts :( plus, i'm gonna really control my diet this time round cos, it's time. i can no longer fit into my clothes.

pictures will be uploaded soon!

goodnight.

2010-03-28T11:37:00.007+08:00

won't tell anybody how you turned my world around
won't tell anyone how your voice was my favourite sound

work was totally awesome yesterday. i worked only for two hours and then slacked all the way hahaha. since work starts at 8.30am and ends at 1pm, heaven! :) went to meet Puteri at town. intended to go to flea at scape but when we reached there, for the first time ever i didn't buy anything. i.did.not.enjoy.my.time.there.at.all. it was so freaking hot, and it was super packed. the moment i entered, the next thing i knew, i wanna get out asap. but since Puteri wanted to look around, i was being a good friend to endure the heat and also, "reminded" her not to shop. in the end, she only bought a ring and this lace top. okay lah good effort i must say, compare to the other times she shopped like nobody's business lol. so yeah, went out of the stupid hot packed flea and met Aisya at Cineleisure. talked things out with her and thank god she didn't really care about going to the flea cos we were supposed to go to the flea with her too. so we left and headed to Ion and Wisma cos Puteri wanted to buy those Rubi sandals for her cousins i think as birthday gifts. luckily i was there to tell her the cheaper rates hahaha. bought the sandals and headed to Charles and Keith cos she wanted to buy this bag for her sister's birthday gift there. omg i tell you, she was a santa claus yesterday. going around buying presents for people while aisya and i stood there by her side telling her our opinions. fyi, Puteri is very fickle-minded so yeah, there's no point telling her our opinions anyway cos in the end, she'll still stick to her decision LOL.

after all that shopping, went to spend our Earth Hour outside Ion. honestly, it was a total waste of our 15minutes cos only the Ion building's lights were switched off -.- so we went to FEP to get my pink extensions yeay! ^.^ SO NICE! hehehehehehe :D then we went home though it was only 9.30pm. it was damn exhausting yesterday, probably cos we woke up very early that day.

will be going to Bugis with Aisya and Sue later to get Aisya's school stuffs. i want my tragus piercing today! okay great, now i'm having butterflies in my stomach about it. then maybe Henderson Waves :) well plans can change so yeah, there'll be it for now!

"kita cutecute kecik-kecik dapat budak kecik. baekkk -.-" haha inside story!

people shouldn't stereotype should they? it's okay if you don't favour whatever that's happening but as a friend, the least you can do is understand, and trust. don't be judgemental cos sometimes, it doesn't seem to be how it is. knowing our limits is good enough, just don't come to conclusions please. you'll hurt somebody.

take care.

2010-03-26T21:44:00.006+08:00

i don't need a parachute

i'm gonna have that hair colour soon, so pretty!

Attachment Day 8. today totally sucks thanks to stupid David. wtf he has a problem with me is it if i complete my work fast. you know what happened to me today? well apparently i was really busy at work thanks to that faggot. know why? i did all his work. YES. his table is full of invoices that need to be billed but he seems to be enjoying his time walking around the office and warehouse. Martin couldn't wait any longer and so, i had to clear his shits for him. Martin said David like to wayang. so true lah please! asshole. bloody shit you brought up my name in last night's meeting just to save your ass! HELLO!? wtf you can't bloody hell touch me cos i belong to the Logistics Department now. if you want me to clear your shits for you, wait for 2 months. i'll gladly do it for the entire Purchasing/Admin department. luckily the kakak-kakak purchasing/admin sided me. bodoh nye jantan. expect me to do something without having clear instructions from you? stupid or what? think i what, superwoman? the only reason why i do my work fast cos i have crystal clear cut instructions from those who give me tasks. i don't think you're happy seeing me doing nothing and helping out with the Operation side always instead of helping YOU out. you wanna shoot back at me by telling me off to Michael right in front of my face? fat chance cos you know why? i'm totally up for people like you, i'll just shoot you back :) in the end, Michael sided me haha! DUHH. i'm only here for a week, what do you expect? it's a good thing i did many of the admin stuffs before i got transferred. and besides, Michael is the overall in charge of me, not you. so yeah, BUZZ OFF THANKS :D

you know in times like this, who would i usually turn to first? mummy :) but ever since she has her new job at some resort at Sentosa doing shift work, i don't meet her often. except yesterday cos every thursday is her off day. it was our very first conversation ever since she started working and i started my attachment.

mum: syiqin how's your work?
syiqin: okay lah.
mum: orang sane mcm mane? friendly?
syiqin: the makcik kakak-kakak admin and the abang-abang warehouse best ah. mama you know what! *starts telling about David the stupid faggot*

it's fun gossiping with mummy. but when it's her turn to tell about her work, it's time for me to go to bed. jahat seh syiqin but yeah, seriously wrong timing ah. she favourite seh storystory malam-malam. pagi-pagi taknak taw! haha sorry lah, next time kay! no matter how much i say i hate my mum, she's the one who will always be there for me no matter what. even when i'm at my worst, she'll scold me first then help me out. i know she scolds me for my own good. it's just that the problem lies with me, i'll never change. stubborn ah hehh :P kene marah dulu baru dapat pertolongan eh -.- but yes, not some guy or whoever, mummy will always be at the top of my list! v^.^v

okay you know what? i don't think i wanna be a Maritime person in the future. i can do the work and everything else, it's just that i don't have the interest in it. i never did. my interest lies in Public Relations, Hospitality, interacting with people. not some cooping up in the office job, or visiting the port to check the arrival of the items and whatever shit. no matter how many motivational quotes there are in the office, i am not motivated. at all. it sucks lah. i questioned myself today while i was in the heaps of all the paperwork, what the hell am i doing here? and suddenly i was reminded why i chose that Maritime course. believe it or not, i'm in SP because of Hendra. okay fine i'm just gonna let this out to the entire universe. to those reading my piece of junk, i'm a one foolish girl who chose this path of life cos apparently, her exbf who at that point of time was her bf, wanted to be in SP so much but since i get to choose poly/jc first, i chose SP cos i wanted to be with him. yes i tell everybody that i chose SP cos it's near my house but that isn't the real reason. he ended up in RP now, with the course he wants. and what am i left with? i lost the guy for i don't know how many times already, a course that i'm never interested in though it pays good money and an aimless life cos i happen to change my future plans because of that asshole. i wanted to go to NP but i know i can't get the course that i want there, so the alternative choice was RP cos i'm very sure i can get it there. now, it's all too late.

you can call me stupid or idiotic or whatever foolish nouns you can think of. i deserve it. one thing's for sure, i screwed up my dreams because of a guy. omg i'm such a dumbass foolish fugly bitch.

okay you know what? i'm not gonna give up easily on this. David can take me for whatever shit he wants, he's definitely not gonna be in my way for good grades. fuck him and his accounts. why should i let an old man step all over my head whereas the only thing about him is, he stinks of stale coffee and tobacco. disgusting much.

goodnight.

2010-03-26T11:54:00.001+08:00

what am i doing in the Maritime industry?

2010-03-25T21:26:00.004+08:00

why can't you see me through his eyes?
it's too bad you're making me decide

to be honest, i lost track of what Attachment Day it is today hahaha. i think it's Day 7. Day 7 right? hahaha oh well okay. today was pretty slacking. i even have time to blog and tweeted alot just now -.- i think it's cos i did the tougher assignments in the earlier days of my attachment so currently for now, i'm just chilling out at my desk :) oh! i took only one single bite of the chocolate bar in the fridge at the pantry today cos, i finished up the other chocolate bar yesterday lol! hehehe i have a sweet tooth you know :P

since i don't have anything to talk about today, let's talk about ME! v^.^v the images below are pictures of me without make up. the Before & After effects of my skin colour before and after it got burnt, no edits no flash. see the changes okay!

Not burnt,

was taken somewhere around July-August last year.

Halfway there,

Jetty Jump day, during the late months last year i think.

BURNT!

Christmas eve last year.

yes i know i look horrendously ugly without make up and especially, after i'm totally burnt. but i don't care cos, i wanna look my best on my wedding day for my future groom :) that's where the thrill is, not for some teenage love.

it has been a while since i last catch a movie. should do that soon! but i get tired easily nowadays. i think it's my fats that's making me this way. oh no my call. LOSE THOSE FATS ASAP SYIQIN!

goodnight.

2010-03-25T15:55:00.004+08:00

while i was blog-hopping to pass time, a question suddenly dawned on me.

Why does/do Ex(es) still view(s) your blog?

i was bloghopping randomly and viewed some girls' blogs. they claim knowing that their exbf still reads their blog and stuff. these girls say that mr exbf still checks on them to see how they're doing now and making sure that they're alright. oh these girls even have supported evidence too! random phonecalls and text messages. once in a while, mr exbf will call them up and starts having a nice casual conversation. then he will slowly start to bring up the topic of the girl's welfare. if she happens to be currently "in the wrong lane", the exbf will try to slowly straighten her up. however the ironic thing is, exbf usually calls at the period whereby she does need help in sorting out with her life. but the sad thing is, once he's done accomplishing his job of turning her into a nice-sweet-modest-polite-whatever-you-guys-call-it girl whom she used to be, he'll just disappear at the point of time when she starts to fall for him all over again. great job huh ex-boyfriend? then why come back if you say you don't care at all? guys.

sad thing is, why can't Exes just talk things out? oh wait, that IS the problem. is there a scientifically proven reason or something on why there is a communication breakdown between Exes? guys/girls, deep down even if you're too egoistic to admit it, do you still care about your ex so that's why you spend at least 5 minutes of your 24 hours to check his/her profile or view his/her blog? have you ever resisted the urge not to, and does it kill you if you can't? OR, are you simply just plain bored? if so, then why go through the hassle of contacting your ex back to make sure he/she is doing fine? you know somebody is gonna get hurt in the end, then why risk it?

i'm still searching for answers you know.

2010-03-24T22:36:00.005+08:00

every time i'm ready to leave
you can't keep steering me wrong
why you pulling me back, pulling me in
just like gravity

i have just finished watching the entire seasons of SKINS. well season 3 and 4 that is. Season 1 and 2 so boring lah, not worth my time lol. instead of always talking about Freddie McClair (my handsome bf Luke Pasqualino haha!), let's talk about James Cook (Jack O'Connell) shall we? :)

Cook is a damn sex maniac in season 3. he fucks with any girl he can grab hold of. he was dating Effy in season 3, fucked her as well lol. but WHILE dating her, he can even go around fucking other girls, even Effy's bestie Pandora behind her back. MULTIPLE TIMES. he even fucked Freddie's little sis before without Freddie knowing, and Freddie is his bestie. can you believe it? but then despite being such an fucking asshole jerk and the sort of bad guy criminal in the show, Cook has only one girl in his heart and that is, Effy.

Season 4 was kindda heartbreaking for Cook. Effy left him for Freddie. well Freddie has set his eyes on her ever since college started but Cook was being the jerk so ya whatever hahaha. Cook gave her up to his best mate. he may seem alright on the outside but deep down, he was shattering to bits. well you can tell lah if you watch the show. he was still by Effy's side when Freddie wasn't around for her and for someone like Cook- egoistic hot-tempered stubborn- to confess that he wants her back, he must have taken lots of guts to do so. when he saw Freddie's book with scribbles "I Love Her" all over on every page which was referring to Effy, he just broke down. it's kindda sad seeing him that way, he was so weak and he couldn't do anything about it though he still loves Effy so much. Season 4 was left hanging. i don't know what happened in the end. i hate hanging shows, keep me wondering. have to wait for the next season!

i don't blame Effy though for choosing Freddie over Cook. which girl can ever go through those lies and heartbreaks again? except that Effy didn't get heartbroken at all, Cook did.

goodnight.

2010-03-24T15:12:00.008+08:00

counting down the number of hours minutes seconds to home, approximately 2hours 38minutes more. not gonna bother counting down the seconds. i'm utterly bored. done with most of my work already, left with waiting for more P/O to enter and for me to post receive it. easy task.

i hate today, totally fucked up. results posted, really sucky. well not exactly, just that it wasn't impressive. at all. i studied my ass off this time round to get a better gpa. well i did actually lol, just that it's not good enough. i'm really upset at some of my classmates who cheated during the Marine Engineering paper. i bet they scored excellently for that one, 4 credits for that module fyi. and here i am, stuck with an average score but i didn't cheat at all. not even the slightest intention to. i'm just unhappy with that particular module. where's the justice man? if it's 1 or 2 credits, i don't give a shit. BUT IT'S 4, CLOSEST TO 5! wtf lah seriously. i really pulled up my socks this time round, guess it wasn't good enough. i got peanut scores for first sem due to too much slacking and pure procrastination. i deserve it, but not for sem 2 okay. i hope that playboy/liar is happy hearing about this. i bet he's roaring his laughter now. thanks for your imbecile curses and degrading me always. fuck you.

i shouldn't be melancholic. no i shouldn't. i hate that purchasing guy upstairs. David's the name. he totally deserves my "i'm not gonna bother about whatever shit that comes out of your mouth fuck off" face. sorry i raised my voice at you. no wait, i'm not sorry at all actually. you raised your voice at me first, so i followed teehee. screw you and your accounts. i don't give a shit. you don't give me clear cut instructions, why should i bother giving you a brilliant work? go feed yourself to those dogs outside thanks.

gonna do a tragus piercing either this friday or saturday. i fear of the pain, and mummy too. well she still hasn't found out about my helix piercing yet, and it has been nearly two months already. but tragus is visible enough to get spotted. if she still doesn't notice it, i'm stunned.

oh wait. whatever happen to your "there'll be more surprises to come. wait for something on the 9th of April" ? hahaha omg you're so making me feel very hopeful but apparently, i think you're just pathetic lying to me all the time. don't you ever get sick and tired of lying? tsktsk.

blogging again later.

2010-03-23T20:38:00.003+08:00

trying to dress up when i'm missing you

Attachment Day 6. i had lots of things to do today cos the person in charge of me in the Logistics Department, Martin, had to clear off alot of billings. and when i say alot, it really means ALOT. he passed me alot of things to post and ship off and stuff. i caused the printer for invoices to get stuck lol. i skipped lunch today. ate my bread that mummy prepared for me in the morning which was meant to be for breakfast. the abang-abang warehouse and the kakak-kakak purchasing/admin joked about me when they knew i didn't go for lunch. on diet, nak jage badan -.- puh-lease! my face wanna go diet? HAHA. tak dapat ah! sedangkan puase dah complain, apetah lagi nak diet. i just HehHehHeh it off. in my heart was saying, " can't you see those piles stacked up there? wanna help? oh fyi, it's still piling. " luckily i was too busy to entertain them. stakat boleh HehHehHeh je. whatever seh *rolls eyes*. then i had FLOG lessons at the end of the day for half an hour by Martin. he taught me the whole cycle of the billing charges and everything else to make sure i have a clearer picture of what i've been doing all these while. gonna state that in my logbook :) more lessons tmr. haiyooo. but he's a better FLOG lecturer than Captain Chit Htwee. i can understand Martin, not Captain. sorry lol.

results tmr. OMG. i'm so afraid, first time ever. i don't wanna repeat any module, my life would definitely be hell next semester. i wanna prove to someone that i'm not dumb, and i will not get myself kicked out of school in these coming three years. no wait, two years? terlupa lah dah year 2 hehehehe :P eee menyampah!

have been turning in early nowadays. i feel super lethargic after work. during working hours, i go to the pantry and secretly eat the chocolates which i take from the fridge hahahaha! tu pon nak bilang eh -.- evil sia, but i like ;)

so much for your surprises. hahaha world :) in the end, there's just no end. there's only new beginnings.

goodnight.

2010-03-22T20:17:00.008+08:00

they say if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger
oh but i can't be without you any longer

Attachment Day 5. i'm in no mood to talk about today.

it wasn't easy for me. it has never been. i wanna save myself this time round, even though it means goodbye. again. i don't know how someone can go around lying to people many times without having the slightest guilty conscious. everything seems so easy for you isn't it? it's definitely not for me. i rather pull myself out now than to wait for you to do it first, like usual.

don't tell me you're crazy over me. fucking bullshit. if you would, you wouldn't have left for the fifth time. or is it the sixth?

i'm in a desperate need for chocolates now.

2010-03-22T01:01:00.003+08:00

you've broken my trust and it can't be fixed
but i never told you what i should have said
no i never told you, i just held it all in

i miss my hair like this. so long, thick and wavy. AND NOT SPOILT.

i can't believe i'm saying this. I MISS SCHOOL! :( working life sucks. now i'm really wishing that i don't wanna grow older so that i don't have to work, but money tastes nice unless i get a husband who is super damn rich and loves me so much that he'd give me alot of money each month so that i can pamper myself and bake everyday and he wouldn't cheat on me. FAT CHANCE AH SYIQIN! -.- i miss those times slacking in class and webcamwhoring when we're bored. i wonder how my classmates are doing. confirm getting fatter hahaha! gosh i miss school, and my Maggi Goreng from FC3 too :/

i miss my red hair. blazinggggg. nice :)

Attachment Day 5 starts tmr. my bus concession expired already sad life sia Syiqin. but it doesn't really matter alot to me now cos i won't be going out much anyway. attachment took my life away. sucks lah you attachment. why 6months sia? go die lah. work starts at 8.30 but i always enter the office at 9 cos even at 9, the office is still half empty. totally waste my time lah coming in so early. ends at 6. i rather spend more time with my bed in the morning lol. is Skins ep 7 out yet? i wanna watch about Effy Stonem! and see my boyfriend Luke too HAHAHA!

i'm straight btw, but on the way to being a feminist i think hahaha :)

goodnight.

2010-03-21T16:23:00.009+08:00

world behind my wall

yesterday, i spent my saturday with Aisya :) went to flea at Homeclub. i hate alighting at Raffles Place, prone to getting lost. well i promised myself never to buy anything at flea markets anymore, but i failed to stop myself. again. the stuffs there were gorgeous, better than at Wavehouse's. but sadly i don't have enough cash on me yesterday which is a good thing i supposed cos it'll lessen my expenditure lol. however, Aisya found this pretty twine-bracelet thingy and she wanted to buy it. since i didn't want to, she didn't. but then! suddenly i wanted it and ta-da! we both bought it ^.^ penipu haram betol hahaha.

1 for $6. 2 for $10. jiwa or what! ^.^

it's a wonder how my wrist is smaller than Aisya's whereas she's smaller than me. hmm. anyway, we left Homeclub immediately after buying it to prevent further temptations.

headed to Clarke Quay after that just to walk around. so peaceful and wet :) obviously, the rain had just stopped pouring. i find Clarke Quay a beautiful place to chill and hang out, if you have the cash of course. and very happening at night too haha! since we were kindda broke, we ended up walking around and snapping pics here and there. then we walked to esplanade to waste time lol.

esplanade is so boring cos all the outdoor seats were wet. eventually we left for Marina Square. wanted to chill out at Gloria Jeans but it was gone. why oh whyyyyy :( ended up buying one large Double Chocolate Frappe from McCafe and sat outside Mcd. there were so many matreps there, felt so uneasy. after snapping pics, we left for town to disturb Sue at her working place cos she was working yesterday. takde keje seh kitorg -.-

reached town at night, so many people! ^.^ Cityhall and Clarke/Boat Quay were so deserted. so that's where everyone was LOL! hahahaha i like crowded places, can see so many types of people. but i hate packed shops, i can never get what i want. urgh. went to Cotton On at Wisma, kacau Sue there hahaha. she's so happy seeing us, so cute! then after that, chilled at McCafe at Lido. that's where the camwhoring session began. took so many thousand million pics you know! okay bluff, exaggeration hahaha.

for the entire day yesterday, i only survived on one medium-sized Double Chocolate, one chicken mushroom curry puff from Old Chang Kee and one large-sized Double Chocolate. oh i shared the drinks with Aisya. that's my meal for the entire day. thanks to the McDelivery surprise, i didn't really feel so hungry, unlike usually. cool or what! ^.^

bathing time. NOT. xoxo

2010-03-20T11:31:00.006+08:00

i just received a McDelivery, but i didn't call for McDonalds.

as i was cuddling comfortably beneath my comforters in this raining morning, i heard someone outside my door. it kindda spoiled the serenity of the surroundings cos for once, i'm alone at home on a saturday in this awesome weather. i dragged myself out of bed, put on my sweater and opened the door. and guess what? i saw McDelivery :)

i was totally speechless. the guy asked if i'm Syiqin and showed me the receipt and stuff. the words i managed to utter was, " I didn't order anything. " he was taken aback too, but i told him that it's really me he's referring too. i thought it was my parents but i didn't think they'll do that cos my dad only buys stuffs that need to be prepared and mummy only orders pizza for delivery and even if she did, i would be totally aware of it. then i panicked. what if all these haven't been paid yet, and i only have enough to go to flea at Homeclub today? i asked and he said it was all on credit card. now that stunned me. both my parents are totally against credit cards cos they have phobia of them already lol. the guy told me to check whether all the food have been sent since i have no idea what the sender ordered for me. Hotcakes meal, Sausage McGriddles meal and Fish Fillet meal. wow! :) so yeah, i asked for the receipt and checked the price. another big WOW! i thanked him and he left.

placed the food in the kitchen. i really don't know what to say, totally speechless. it's a surprise breakfast/lunch from an anonymous sender who i think knows that i'm currently hungry right now and probably knows that flowers and objects don't really impress me as much. and omg it's HOTCAKES! ^.^

i thought going to flea later is gonna make my day but this is so much better. to whoever who did all these, thank you so very much :) honestly i can't even stop smiling to myself till now when i think back about that surprised reaction when i saw McDonalds at my doorstep and saying that i didn't order anything. it was really sweet, thank you. gonna enjoy my breakfast now hehe!

i think i know who ordered for me but i don't wanna assume cos i scared wrong person then later paiseh :P

2010-03-18T22:58:00.006+08:00

i tried to believe every word of your sweet story
but intuition keeps telling me
you're making a fool out of me

Attachment Day 3. can you believe it? i actually survived till the third day :) did more RSQ SO assignments. getting the hang of it already. learnt something new today, Logistics. kindda easy, just that i can't get distracted or else i'll end up releasing the wrong account again, like how it happened today. i was on the phone for only 37 seconds and ta-da! careless mistake spotted. thank god it's still the same vessel. completed my work half an hour earlier. spent the remaining time eating and visiting the pantry and eating again and visiting the lavatory and back to eating again before going home. the chocolates in the fridge are so yummy! gonna be obese by the end of my 6 months, no kidding.

tmr is Famie's last day. gosh you don't know how terrified i am for work next week onwards, gonna be working ALONE. if i make a mess, there won't be anybody to help me out. but i'm gonna be with the Logistics department for 2 months starting from next week, which means i'm gonna learn new stuffs all over again with new people. it's okay, better than being stuck facing the computer screen all the time. but gonna miss both the pantries and the chocolates. sad life or what. indeed.

Famie said there's ITP project to sum up our attachment period. guess there isn't enough torture during the 6 months. patience is a virtue. i need my grades. FML.

goodnight.

2010-03-17T23:19:00.015+08:00

do you remember all the good times we had
let's bring it back

Attachment Day 2. i'm better at work now yeay! surprisingly i remembered how to do the data entry and stuffs, but still need brushing up. the intern, Famie, said tmr she doesn't need to come already cos alot of things i know how to do now haha! kembang i hehehe :P but she's still there to supervise me cos i'm still abit confused with the RSQ SQ PO SO whatever haha. did the steps correctly but for the wrong data -.- this friday is her last day, sedih pe. later nobody will be there to guide me and storystory while working and lunch break :( gonna be with the Logistics for the first 2 months. boarding the vessel soon yeay can't wait! but yes, Famie warned me about the guys there- vultures. hahahaha!

by the end of 6 months, i'm gonna be overweight. i keep eating and people keep sharing food with me. i don't even know that there's another pantry in the office till just now, and it has more delicious food too! ^.^ i think i can handle attachment, yes i can do it i must. i desperately need good grades for my GPA! totally flop my Year 1's. gonna bring sugar peanuts and cashew peanuts to work tmr. munch munch munch! :)

i had fun that night. it was totally awesome :) thanks Ikadjon for your help. much loves <3

Tumblr time xoxo

2010-03-15T02:23:00.003+08:00

we'll make the great escape

you know what i'm feeling right now? i feel trapped. it's like, i can no longer blog about whatever that happens to me daily, how i feel, what i'm thinking so on and so forth. sometimes, i just don't want some people to intrude my life and care so much about me. HELLO I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL!? wtf. it's like every single one of my moves is being watched simply cos i blog alot about my life. obviously you readers would be thinking, then why do i bother blogging about my life if i don't want certain people to know? because, i'm used to always have someone to talk to about my day, just pouring out my stories, gossiping, the fact that i'm dying of boredom every single day though i have lots of things to do but deep down i just feel so lonely. i blog cos now i no longer have anyone to share all my stories with. so blogging somehow makes me feel like there's someone to talk to. see what i mean? get it? but somehow it annoys me that it gets into the wrong hands. i don't wanna private my blog. did that once and the next day, friends kept asking me why i private it. so keeping it private makes me a selfish person. might as well just publicise it right. and now i can't even blog in peace, if you know what i mean. i feel stalked.

i'm thinking of changing my blog link again. should i?

2010-03-14T16:35:00.004+08:00

it's hard for me to say the things i wanna say sometimes

as stated on the previous post, i spent the entire night/morning watching My Name is Khan. ended up sleeping at around 7 plus in the morning when mom was getting ready for work. once she entered my room, i quickly pretended to sleep. pretend only, cos last night i woke up damn late/early lol. it was a very sad movie, i cried -.- my tears like automatic fall gitu, waah i cannot tahan sia! couldn't hold back those tears. Shah Rukh Khan's acting has always been the best. i love Kajol's hair, long and silky :) must thank Helmi for telling me the link to the movie cos i was lazy to search for it. senang pe hidup, mintak je ah siape siape yang dapat carik link. good life :P anyway, you guys should really watch it. i promise you won't regret it. it's better than Dear John :)

currently spending the entire day at home with Sabrina. gosh it's super boring. i don't know where my parents are, okay i rather not know better hahaha. at least now food supply is running high at home, plus i don't know who keeps buying chocolates. heavenly :)

BORING.

2010-03-14T07:12:00.000+08:00

just finish watching My Name is Khan. a seriously superb movie two thumbs up! :)

goodnight.

2010-03-14T01:27:00.006+08:00

previous post wasn't about last friday taw. last friday i was stuck with attachment. scratch that day, it was last thursday instead :)

today was sucha boring day. fyi, i just woke up from sleep. missed my 300 show on Channel 5. padehal i have the dvd seh -.- anyway, i'm currently having a very boring weekend this week. been a very good girl staying at home helping mummy do extra house chores and giving Sabrina attention. imagine ah, mom's working today. she texted me saying that Sabrina needs attention cos apparently, my sis texted her saying that nobody layan her and pestering my mom when she's coming home. like hello?! she's working -.- ala small kids lol. then i terpakse layan her, watch tv with her. then shareshare my nail polishes with her. waah like play make-up sia with her today! tsktsk. but good thing is, mummy bought 2 large white chocolate bars from Candy Empire woohoo best! ^.^ i love white chocolates compared to normal chocolates though i eat all sorts of chocolates lol. it's just that i would get extra hyper when it comes to the white ones. Syiqin's secret 102 :)

spent my day watching hindustan. hindi shows all the way yeay! okay lame shoosh. currently thinking what to do tmr. stay home again perhaps? or should i go out to buy my avril shorts? tu pon nak bilang eh -.- hmm waah i damn lazy sia wanna go out tmr, but i don't wanna stay at home. but i wanna go out cos i wanna make use of my bus concession before it expires next week lol. omg i just realised i haven't been putting on my stud on the top part of my ear piercing. later closee! :O okay dah eh syiqin takmo drama mama pat sini hahaha.

okay bored. seriously bored. only Aisya talking to me on msn lol -.- Helmi where are you when i need to talk to youuuu? Alif Fizwan lagi best. besok talk cos dah ngantok gile, besok kerje pagi. waah he clever ah mcm tau je i wanna interrogate him about something. waah guys nowadays so clever ah, but we girls always outwit them hahahaha! omg i'm really so bored.

bad timing to be the time of the month. everything just turns me off. good thing i'm single. i pity whoever my boyfriend is during this time. confirm kene rabak seh from me. should fix that part of me also, besides the ego. hmmm. shit my cherry tomatoes supply running low.

Tumblr time xoxo

2010-03-13T16:17:00.006+08:00

let's storystory about last friday hehehe. okay last friday, met up with Aisya Puteri Sue to flea at SMU. i bought 3 bottles of nail polishes there while Puteri bought rings. there weren't many stuffs there and the rings which she bought were expensive. after flea-ing, went to have lunch at tong seng. walked around Bugis street for awhile. i found my diy extensions so cool! but didn't buy them cos i've got plans with my cash ^.^ then we went to Penin, Funan and Suntec. at Suntec, that's where my story lies for this post hahaha!

we went there cos there was the IT fair going on and Sue wanted to buy earpiece. so we went there, so packed! like super super damn packed lah. i like going to packed places cos i can see different types of people but when we entered the fair, i started to feel so rimas. then i started losing my interest, so i felt sleepy -.- after Sue bought her earpiece, we went to check out the Body Shop sale also at the convention centre. and guess what? the moment i saw the sale, i became energetic. omg it's 70% sale! i went to check out my perfume- Japanese Cherry Blossom- but it was finished :( was disheartened for a while. but nevertheless, Syiqin always has back up plans to make her smile again :) so, i went to check out other fragrances instead. the adults were so goddamn kiasu lah. kept pushing and those even stayed at the front line of the booths i don't know for what also. if you already have your stuff, then get out lah let other people have their chances to take a look! if you can't see whatever you want there, it means it's finished! i really couldn't stand them at all. they're adults but they behave like kids, can't even bloody hell apologize when they start pushing people around. i don't know why i even bother apologizing whereas these people don't. oh i know why! cos i'm polite, unlike them. say sorry also very difficult. so in the end, i got so pissed off and angry that i started cursing at those who kept pushing me around without even apologizing. Aisya just kept pushing them back. she can lah, she's taller than me -.- the sale tempted me alot, and finally my nose caught this sweet-smelling perfume. thenthen, bought it woooo! now i have completed my WANTS list yeay! ^.^ so much for not spending. see i knew it. i'll for sure buy something duhh! now i have all the stuffs i want imma happy girl now! :)

i don't think i'm gonna continue my part-time job during attachment. gonna spend my weekends either staying at home or going out with my friends. shouldn't be too hard on myself, am not a robot :)

thank goodness i'm staying in today. Mother Nature is nice today, it's raining! ^.^ && also! Hrithik Roshan is on Vasantham Central now hehehehe :P kk ttyl k bye!

TV time xoxo

2010-03-13T00:20:00.006+08:00

Boy: You know what?
Girl: What?
Boy: Next time i see you, don't wear that skirt again, it's too revealing
Girl: Why? I thought you loved that skirt
Boy: Next time, wear something that reaches to your ankles
Girl: Ok whatever
Boy: A dress that reaches to your ankles.. and wear long white gloves that reach to your elbows
Girl: What?
Boy: Trust me
Girl: What are you trying to do? Hide me from everyone?
Boy: Do up your hair as well real pretty
Girl: Are You listening to what i'm saying? You're so conservative, don't choke me like this... Are you kidding me?
Boy: I'm dead serious.
Girl: You know i dont like guys who boss me around
Boy: ... Wear a veil
Girl: ... what?
Boy: Wear this ring too
Girl: ....
Boy: Marry Me

hahaha aww so cute! ^.^ you know this reminds me of an incident that took place at Sakura International Kent Ridge few months back.

not talking cos of huge fight that happened earlier
Boy: *looks at buffet* baby, what you wanna eat?
Girl: *keeps on looking around for more dishes. ignoring Boy*
Boy: b, u nak apa?
Girl: *still ignoring*
Boy: b please don't do this to me. please don't keep quiet.
Girl: *still unhappy* you told me to shut up what.
Boy: baby please. i'm sorry okay. don't be like this.
Girl: *ignores. takes food, walk to table and sat down*
Boy: *takes food, walks to table and sat down also*
Boy: baby, nak sikit? *feeds some to Girl*
Girl: *ignores. eat her own food instead*
Boy: *starts texting under table*
few minutes later,
Boy: *smacks forehead. takes out handphone from pocket*
Girl: *bursts out laughing* i know you're gonna message me hahaha! my phone is with you slenge!
Boy: *embarrased* fine ah. *returns back handphone*
Girl: *reads text message* aww.. so sweet :) eh i thought you wanna feed me? why you eat?!
Boy: *shows wth look*

the message was, " Hi baby. I'm really sorry for shouting at you just now. Please don't keep quiet, it makes the world around me so silent :( I love you. "

one of those monthversaries. posting this means nothing, just feel like sharing. it was memorable cos it was very hilarious :) the incident at Seoul Garden was better. i didn't know you always wear long-sleeved to Seoul Garden cos you're afraid it stings you whenever i cook hahaha funny shit!

i love the way Freddy takes care of Effy when she's mentally ill. he really devotes all his time to her, not sleeping properly and not coming back home and doesn't give a damn about school and stuffs just to make sure she's alright. surprised her with breakfast on her bed when she wakes up, bathed her when she's completely unable to do so, dress her up and makes her feel really loved. i think it's really hard for him to have a girlfriend who suffers from psychotic depression, and Freddy loves Effy so much. how i wish reality is like that awww! like duhh right, Freddy is Luke Pasqualino hehehe :)

finally decided thanks to Aisya. keeping both Blogger and Tumblr :) http://hotlingerie.tumblr.com

goodnight.

2010-03-12T20:20:00.003+08:00

just admit it, you're such a good liar.

Attachment Day 1. accomplished many tasks in the beginning within a short period of time. kept filing, sorting out documents then filing again. utterly not challenging. my senior (current intern) offered to teach me new stuff so i paid attention to her, and i don't like it at all. involves Excel, Accountancy (soon!) and lots of FLOG practical. Excel and Accountancy are my far weakest modules ever, the ones which i force myself to scrape through at least a pass for exams, and now i meet them again. gonna suffer for 6 months cos of those two. so much for school stuffs not gonna be involved. whatever. overall, it was tiring cos of the long hours: 8.30am-6pm. should bring some snacks to munch during working hours or else i'm just gonna doze off. good thing is, lunch is for an hour. plus, my senior said that the pay is $500, not $440 cos we work alternate saturdays. now that's motivating, the money i mean hahaha. and another thing is, i have a strong feeling that i'm gonna put on lots of weight during my attachment period cos the pantry is full of food supply for everybody, and they even have ice-cream in the fridge too! imagine, the manager who interviewed me this morning made me a cup of milo just to make me feel at home lol. i felt super bad and wrong but yeah, he insisted. i hope i can handle this. i work well under pressure. yeah, right. if you don't see me breaking down then you're really lucky.

Tumblr time xoxo.

2010-03-12T00:14:00.004+08:00

gonna start blogging short snippets of sentences on blogger again. Tumblr will have more of my daily rantings. can't bear to leave blogger just yet, slowly but surely :)

attachment starts tmr. urgh i'm dreading it so badly! :(

goodnight.

2010-03-11T01:28:00.005+08:00

bermula dengan bismillah

this is gonna be a long post. the previous post was kindda half-hearted cos internet connection was very sucky. i don't really favour using the internet at nights cos connection is always bad. i'll always go connected disconnected on msn. sometimes i don't get messages/replies from whoever i chat with. veryvery irritating to the max. then i'll vent my anger on my blog. perangai kental seh Syiqin -.- can't even watch Skins but it's a bit okay already, a bit only ah. still not happy. bleahh :/

well i already blogged about my day today (yesterday?) in the previous post. so i don't wanna go into details about it again cos sucky internet connection made me lose my enthusiasm. i think whatever that's gonna trigger my anger is mainly because of the bad connection lol -.- okay whatever hahahaha perangai Effy Stonem seh haha! oh btw, she's one of the casts from Skins :) her real name is Kaya Scodelario. go google about her if you're interested lol!

Syiqin's secret number 101. the other 100 secrets are hidden somewhere in this blog's manymany posts, and also with some of my friends only hahaha :) so anyway the secret is, i don't delete text messages though they're dated way back to the first day of Hari Raya last year. so that's why my inbox always gets jammed whenever there's an incoming text message. waah like big deal gitu ah lol -.- but i don't just keep messages without a reason. they're from people who are (used to) close to my heart, dear to me :) i have a veryvery soft spot for people whom i really care, and even a softer spot for those whom i used to fall in love with. yeah i know i like world like that ah, say dah get over and go around cursing and swearing and whatever shit *rolls eyes*. yeah i very the world when it comes to matters of the heart cos sometimes whatever i did isn't really what i wanted deep down. hey at least i admit okay! unlike some people who, i don't know whether it's ego or whatever, choose to still go upfront and deny everything although the fact is super mothereffing obvious -.-'!

so back. whenever i read back my inbox due to boredom, i come across all these old text messages. i feel totally sucky, like really sick in the stomach and going to burst out in tears anytime. but i just can't seem to delete them all, don't know why. even a text message from the guy whom i've been trying to get the entire truth out from him made me feel this way too. 6 months of being kept in the dark, i think i have the rights to know the truth but whatever. i couldn't be bothered with it now cos to me, when thinking back, it's just not worth my time. urgh i really despise this feeling man :/

Nana told me today. with my expectations of a guy being my boyfriend, there's no way i'll ever get attached. i have to agree with her on that part cos my expectations are really really high, although i choose not to be in a relationship for now. gotta have to sort out my feelings first and focus on saving enough money to get my bike license and also go on a backpacking trip yeay! insyaallah. one incident: there's this guy whom i used to really like for a period of time. he's really charming i must say. i like the way his dimple shows whenever he smiles and he didn't even know about it till i told him lol -.- most importantly, it was the way he cares for people and his direct-ness which made me like him. but when i found out this little thing about him, it was a total turn off. then i dropped those feelings like hot potatoes. things with me are just so different now. maybe it's cos i'm just too damn afraid to get hurt all over again. yeah i know it's a stupid reason but that's just how i feel. i wanna find someone who really deserves my all, not some guy who just takes things for a ride. there's no the perfect one. it's loving an imperfect person perfectly :) but sadly, i'm just totally fucked up.

i hope you're reading this. if you really want me and all of your pasts to fuck off, then at least answer my question that i've been asking you for months already. what the hell do you really want from me? it matters alot to me cos out of so many people, you should know best that unanswered questions can haunt me in my dreams.

i have trust issues, and it's the Ex who made me this way.

i think i'm gonna officially run to my Tumblr now. if you wanna know my link ask me yea? :) oh yes! got this line from last saturday's hindustan show- true love is not to possess. wonder what it means. hmmm.

berakhirlah dengan alhamdulillah

2010-03-10T23:18:00.001+08:00

hello there! *waves hello* today i met my Ikaciq Nana Syasya :) rindu korang banyakbanyak! initial plan was to head down to ecp but it was raining today. then we changed plans, went to airport instead. chill out there. it was peaceful. had Popeye's for lunch and we did some catching up with whatever that's happening in our lives. it was really nice, just sitting there with each of us by our sides, really talk things out. it has been ages since we had our last outing, miss them so much. oh Imran and Ju were there too! Ju merepek seh hahaha but whenever she tells a joke, i have to process it in my head really really thoroughly cos i just couldn't get it. yeah imma a noob lol -.- took lots of pics and yeah as usual, my face kept appearing alot in the pics. and the best thing is, i love it muahahaha! :D

tmr, i'm going to go flea at SMU with Aisya cos Yuyul invited me :) not gonna spend on any apparels though, I REALLY HOPE NOT. but i don't think i can trust myself. wait and see confirm i'll buy something tmr confirm! i say only but won't do it -.-

blogger doesn't allow me to upload pics for now :( nvm shall upload them tmr then, i hope! blogger you're sucha bitch hmph! oh yes people! i open my tumblr to the public. gonna spend more time there than here. ask me for my link yea! not gonna publicise it here due to personal reasons tyvvm for your understanding appreciate it loads :)

goodnight.

2010-03-09T08:31:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i failed to accomplish my plan on being thrifty. went to town cos we were both bored, and Aisya wanted to check out clubbing dresses. so i accompanied her. went to Bugis street but couldn't find anything that she liked. then we went to The Face Shop in Bugis Junction cos i wanted to buy nail polish. went to try on the testers and when i finally came around to find the colour that i fell in love with, there's no stock. baekkk.. da, enthusiasm mood teros gone -.-

so anyway, took a bus to somerset. went to Cineleisure to check out the dresses there also. still couldn't find anything that she liked. while she was busy checking out the dresses, i was busy thinking, " i want my oreo chocolate drink from Gloria Jeans. or should i buy the peppermint one? okay i don't care. i just want a drink. " lol -.- then she entered the shop where i've got an eye for this pretty lace dress. she kept on saying, " beli ah Syiqin. lawa lawa. beli, skrg tnga ade sale taw! " i kept staring at it, thinking whether to buy or not. waah that girl, psychoing me sia. at last tak beli cos i don't wanna spend my money lol. so, went out of Cineleisure to head to Gloria Jeans outside to get my drink, BUT IT WAS CLOSE! sedih sedih! :( i was cravinggggg for it haiya. then it was drizzling and we just continued walking cos i said so, or else we'll be forever stuck there lol.

went to buy bubble tea eventually cos Aisya wanted it, so i bought it too -.- went to check out the dresses at FEP, but found nothing that she liked. then we went looking for extensions cos i wanted to hahaha. she kept psychoing me to get extensions, and PART of me fell for it but the other part said no cos of attachment haha! so in the end, nope cos don't wanna waste money lol. continued walking around again and FINALLY, she found the one that she liked. paid and left FEP cos we wanted to buy SUNNIES yeay! ^.^ oh btw, Sunnies is a pair of shades from Rubi Shoes/Cotton On :) i had a hard time deciding what colour of Sunnies to buy- black or pink. till up to the extent of calling Ikadjon to help me decide. then after a loooooong thought, i decided on the pink. paid for it and left Wisma cos i wanted to eat at FEP. LOL haha!

had my dinner and stuff, suddenly Aisya psychoed me again to buy the dress. then at first, i agreed BUT THEN! went to basement to check out this shop that sells bebek back drop dresses hahaha. and guess what? i found a nice lace dress there woohoo! ^.^ and guess what happened next? i bought it :) then we went home cos mummy texted " where are you? " already though it was only 7.30pm -.- but nevermind imma happy girl yesterday cos we both bought Sunnies and dresses yeay! ^.^

overall, i was very fickle-minded yesterday. so now, i must thank Aisya super loads for being patient with me especially at Cotton On while i was deciding and tahan the embarrassment when that mat who walked pass kept looking at us lol. also, i must thank Ikadjon for calling me back just to help me decide what colour should i choose. then after she called i immediately just hung up cos i was too excited to purchase it already lol hahahahaha! at least i bought a lace dress, FINALLY! so now it's gonna stop haunting me in my dreams :) so moral of the story is, Syiqin please don't be fickle next time cos you'll trouble lots of innocent souls okay thanks -.-

gonna have my breakfast now. home alone, again. BORED. cannot go out again, CANNOT. must save money!

i've been seeing you in my dreams lately. take care.

2010-03-08T01:06:00.004+08:00

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

work today was.. okay i don't know what to describe about it. there is just isn't any word to explain it -.- i was just so eager to go home though i started late and my hours were lesser than the usual. in simple words, i just didn't have the mood to work today, and for the entire week also. the moment i checked my handphone after work, yessa yessa got text message from Aisya! Bugis tmr yeay! ^.^ then on Tuesday, meeting Ikadjon. then on Wednesday, going out with Nana Ikaciq Syasya to ecp. why ecp sia? i want Sentosa :( then thursday friday saturday sunday no plans. aiyerrr boring! maybe i'll just stay home or visit my nenek. kindda miss her though, and the tv too hehehe :P well somebody has to finish up her food stock. she has loads of them but she always ends up eating bread only -.- and my uncle doesn't really eat at home alot. so it's only up to me and my abang who would do the honour of finishing it up :) but i doubt he visits her nowadays so i'm left to do the task hahaha. eh tak tau malu eh Syiqin! maaaaaakan je tau. ala, she likes it what when i finish up her food. at least i'm eating, unlike some girls who choose not to eat alot cos apparently they're afraid to grow fat lol. cmon be appreciative lah. people at the other side of the world are dying cos there's no food and here, you're restricting yourself cos you don't wanna grow fat. then go live there lah, confirm you become very skinny within one month. happy right? ah happy *rolls eyes*.

it's not fair isn't it? i was there for you when you needed someone to talk to, but were you there for me when i really needed somebody to talk to cos apparently you're the only one who can manage to screw me upside down and set me right again when i do something stupid? no you weren't. some other girl is gonna benefit from everything.

i need someone to guide me again cos i'm starting to lose myself once more. thanks for my 17th birthday. thanks for everything.

goodnight.

2010-03-07T14:16:00.010+08:00

manage me, i'm a mess
turn a page, i'm a book half unread

hi Luke Pasqualino, i think you're gonna be my new scandal :) should i replace Martin Johnson with you? you're so handsome though your hair isn't like on fire. plus, you look so hot when you're angry. &&! you look even hotter when you're smoking. SMOKING HOT! ^.^

going off to work later! i'm dreading it so much, urgh. but it's okay, only 3hours :) then gonna watch Skins again after i reach home. i'm so addicted to it thanks to Aisya wooo! kk shall blog again later hahahaha ttyl!

take care.

2010-03-06T21:40:00.008+08:00

i rather tire myself out for the day, than to stay at home trying to keep myself busy but in the end, i would eventually think of stupid stuffs. ridiculous much.

the one memory i thought of today. well it's actually the first. the day at Escape Theme Park. it was totally fun. i kept insisting on taking different rides each time but he just didn't mind and accompanied me on every one of them. till the moment i really was on the verge of puking, we stopped though he still wanted to have a go on the others. he could have continued with the others but no, he was with me all the way to make sure i was alright. so forgive me if i go hyper and behave like a small little girl at amusement parks, that's just how i am :)

when he went through lots of shits just to make me happy, just to please me, i didn't really thought much about that did i? it was rather tough for him to be at my worst mood swings and still, be patient with me. he could have just screamed at me and asked me to shut up right in my face but no, he didn't. instead he just followed the flow, whatever i was thinking and screaming about. but at the end of the day, i would realize my mistake and he would be fine with it cos he knew i'm a total insane nutcase.

it's sad isn't it, when the one who can be so sweet to you, makes you feel like you're on the top of the world and nothing else ever matters, is also the one who can do the excellent task of shattering your heart into gazillion pieces, without even having the least human sanity to think about. the one who can make you fall so low, losing every bit of your courage and will to stand back up again. it's just, too devastating.

let's be frank here. i did reminisce of the past today cos i was dead bored at home. like i've said, i rather be out than to stay at home. looking back, i did sacrifice alot for him, but he did more. i'm the bitch here. you juggling with so many girls is something that i'm totally immune to already but what hurts the most when i get to know your (the outermost) true colors, you're far worst than i thought. so i guess that makes us both even huh? pretty much.

the one last memory i cannot let go of till now, is my 17th birthday. awesome surprise huh? yeah a great impact, and a better heartbreak this time round. well done. i hope you're satisfied with everything now. people like you don't have guilty conscious at all. :)

i'm not happy lately with people in my house. my nail polishes have gone missing for the second time- 4 bottles in total. previously, it was 6. i suspect it's my mum. she threw away my nail polishes once, without a reason. got it out from my sister through sweets bribery. i texted her about it yesterday, she didn't reply. when i got back home last night, she was already asleep. i asked her again when she came back home just now with Sabrina-

me: (giving a straight serious face) mama have you seen all my nail polish?
mom: (giving the " i don't wanna talk about it " expression) i don't know lah i dont't know
me: (asking my sis) adek, have you seen my nail polish?
sis: (giving innocent face) i don't know. kakak syiqin let's eat ice-cream! *excited*
me: (asking while mom is still there) mama throw away ah?
sis: your nail polish lost ah?
me: *sarcastic* waaah.. i don't know my nail polish got wings and legs. can fly can run. waah so good ah. tak sia-sia i buy so expensive.
mom: *looks uneasy*

i am not happy at all. tmr, something will go missing in the house. sorry but i'm just vengeful. would you like it if somebody throws away your stuffs without consulting you first? please feel my pain, and i don't spread the love in situations like this.

goodnight.

2010-03-06T15:21:00.003+08:00

contemplating whether to go back to Tumblr or not, and make it public this time round. hmm.

look at me and look at you. you're a big bad wolf in disguise, and i can't help but to look into those evil eyes.

2010-03-06T14:17:00.004+08:00

baby ready, get set, don't go

yesterday, met Aisya and Puteri to watch Dear John at Cineleisure. for once, i checked the timing correctly so hurray for me! ^.^ kk stop. Puteri was late so Aisya and i entered the theater first. then i went out to fetch Puteri cos her tix was with me. when we entered the theater, we were just in time for the movie. it was superb! :) yeah i cried. alot. so expecting of me lah lol -.- but hey, the movie really moved me to tears okay! suddenly my tears just kept rolling down my cheeks like waterfall. so sadddddddd :'( yeah and there were other girls who cried and " had flu " too so yes, guess i'm not the only i one who cried nyehahahaha. okay i should stop typing about people crying in the cinema cos it's so absurd -____-"

headed down to Lido to chill out. sat at McCafe. i had my yummy Double Chocolate drink and Puteri had Oreo Cheesecake. suddenly we bumped into Shidah Shazrul and gang. Shidah invited us to sit next to them. we had fun talking and advising Puteri. seeing her last night makes me feel like watching my own reflection last two years- naive and gullible. oh well, i hope she's doing fine now :)

Puteri did this so talented ah she! ^.^

more pics on facebook! :) around 10plus, we headed home while Shidah Shazrul and the others stayed. overall, it was a great day cos FINALLY I BOUGHT MY BANGLES YEAY! ^.^ and finally aisya bought her lace leggings too thanks to me hahaha! chey Syiqin nak menyelit je eh for gratitude. sepak baru tau -.- i was really tempted to get that lace dress from Cineleisure yesterday. it was really so pretty, and on sale too! hmm, i think i'm gonna get it soon, gotta feeling it's gonna haunt me in my dreams :/ oh yes my perfume! haven't buy haven't buy shitttt! :O

shall update soon! maybe later hehehe. okay suddenly i feel like texting Ikadjon to accompany me to Jurong Point cos i wanna buy that Cotton On bodycon floral skirt lol. one day, i bet my closet is gonna burst cos of my overloading amount of clothes that i kept buying but for display only -.-

take care.

2010-03-05T02:35:00.003+08:00

'cause this words are mine, to say to you
i love you, always

what's the link with love and head?

today i spent the entire day sleeping -.- woah i can't take it, my parents' bed is so comforting hahaha :P i'm unsure if i replied text messages correctly or not, i was texting with my eyes half open. sorry :) so in total, i woke up at around 5pm. mampos tido macam babi sak Syiqin! dah bangun, mandi, watched tv. Ellen Degenerade Show! ^.^ eh best ah! while watching tv, i cooked maggi lol. then my sister came home and blablabla. so boring. oh yeah! i found instant cookie mix in the kitchen cupboard, after my mother got back from home. so no point baking already, time to listen to her nag -.-

tmr outing yeay! oh &&, DEAR JOHN tmr! ^.^ ^.^ can't wait can't wait! i think i'm gonna watch that movie twice, well Sue did. so i think it must be damn good ah hahaha.

for the first time ever, i have nothing much to blog about. maybe later ah hahaha.

goodnight.

2010-03-04T04:51:00.002+08:00

“ I want a boy who will tell me when I’m being stupid. Who won’t baby me with his words. A boy who will still give time to his friends. A boy who will tell me ‘No’. He will watch stupid movies with me, but makes me watch his favorites also. A boy who’s willing to drop everything to be with me, but knows when to let it be. A boy who will know he’s important to me, but won’t mind when I change my plans to help someone out. I want a boy who’s enjoyable to look at, he doesn’t have to be gorgeous. I just want someone who I can pay attention to. A boy who will randomly bring me food, cause he knows I love to eat. A boy who can make jokes about me, a boy that I can laugh with. Someone who wont mind when I even embarrass myself. A boy who will buy me something, something I would actually want, none of that jewelry crap. Someone who doesn’t do everything I ask but when it comes to something important I can count on him to be there. Someone who I don’t feel threatened by. A boy who has other friends that are girls, but I can trust him with them. A boy who will know when to leave me alone when I have my stupid fits. A boy who I can just sit with. I don’t need the whole fairytale deal; I just want to feel comfortable. "

screw the guy who didn't allow me to go to my Prom Night. F you.

2010-03-04T03:00:00.004+08:00

i'll take a stand until the end

the top part of my ear where i pierced hurts. well not really, i think it's an infection. damn, i love the way my studded jewel glisten but i hate it when i have to suffer. i bet if Hendra ever reads this he'll be laughing his ass off saying, "HAHA! padan muke kau!" jerk. hmm, should i or should i not continue putting my stud there? my head tells me to remove it but my heart says otherwise. which one should i listen to? i think my heart lah lol. gile.

i can't sleep. it's so boring facing the laptop screen all the time. what on earth do those people who are practically glued to their computer screens do all the time? this only happens when you're bankrupt. if not, i think i'll be out by now hahaha. in my previous post, i said i wanna bake tmr. but thinkthink back ah, like lazy ah. semangat lima minit je -.- i don't know lah, i don't like to bake alone. i repeat, ALONE. like cuckoo sia bake alone, macam takde kawan gitu. but i have yet to use my still so new oven, my aunt gave me for my birthday last year. it's still in the box, with wrappers and all. she gave me an oven cos she knows i like to bake. well if you give me a choice between cooking and baking, i'd choose baking cos it's fun! ^.^ but my grandma thinks that i still have to learn how to cook (DUHH! *rolls eyes*). if not later after i get married my future husband is gonna suffer lol -.- so whenever she's cooking and i'm at her place, she'll make me help her. ala, HELP only not COOK hahahaha! usually i end up cooking lah, she only stands beside me tell me to do this and that. like dictator sia lol. if never put salt kene marah, if never put onion also kene marah -.- i like to make her angry, so cute :) but sadly got no impact on me hahaha.

okay i still haven't think of what to do tmr. should i go to my grandma's house again? there's this new show on MTV- Paris Hilton new BFF show or something. i like watching her in reality shows, so bimbotic. laughing stock sia hahahaha.

MEGA HOTNESS! :D

i can blog about so many things when i'm bored. oh yes! i need more jeansss ^.^ saw nice ones at F21 & Pull and Bear. so pretty i likee :) i'm really tempted to have extensions again. hmm, should i? i really miss my pink streak, and my longlong hair although it's fake -.- wait for my current hair to grow long so damn slow sia, even snails crawl faster lol. i envy pretty girls, they're so pretty. LOL.

i wanna go to the beach, SOON! and watch manymany movies before my attachment officially starts hehehe. okay suddenly i feel like dye-ing my hair tmr. wth Syiqin kau kata takde duit?! hahahahaha!

oh ya! i got pissed off i think around an hour ago. today i bought Cashew Nuts. then got balance. i thought nobody would eat it, so i just put it anywhere in the kitchen. when i wanted to eat it again, it was GONE! like duhh right somebody finished it up! *rolls eyes* i thought only my brother does that but apparently no, cos he's not living with us for now. so which means, there's a new culprit on the lose, and i think it's my father cos mummy only eats sugar peanuts and Sabrina doesn't eat peanuts unless i offer her some. so, i was so geram. payback time! i took the cookies, whoever bought it, brought it to my room and ate it on my bed. ahh so heavenly :) it's heavenly cos my mum forbids us to eat on the bed -.- ate two cookies only then kept it back lol, not nice. hahaha. so that's the end of my cookie story tyvvm! v^.^v

goodnight.

2010-03-03T22:13:00.005+08:00

'cause when i leave for the night, i ain't coming back

done with my attachment introduction letter! fast or whaaat? ^.^ hahahaha. today i find myself veryvery slenge and dumbdumb. when i woke up this morning, i was refreshed. so i supposed i had a good night sleep lol. i still had the time to stare at the ceiling for a while, golekgolek here and there hahaha. but when i looked out my bedroom window, i realized that it was so bright outside. then it hit me! i quickly find my phone somewhere around my bed and checked the time, 11am. itp briefing starts at 10am and ends at 12pm. AWESOME I AM SO LATE! rushed to bathe and get ready. by the time i left my home, it was already 12pm. baekkkk -.- luckily the mrt was fast, i arrived SMA at 12.30pm and hurried to meet my liason officer. when Captain Gerard asked why i didn't turn up for the briefing, i told him i overslept. see? so honest :) so he briefed me about itp the logbook and stuff, then finish. i went home at around 1pm, which means that he only took 30mins for the briefing. LOL.

went to fetch Ikadjon from school at 4pm. traveled to Teck Whye just to fetch her, and the weather was scorching hot lah omg! i was literally drenched in my sweat. see i so nice? weather was being sucha bitch yet i still can fetch my sayang :) but it has been a while since i turon that area. i remembered traveling there all the way just for higher malay. totally wasted my time -.- but it was worth the heat and wait. i still spent my day with her eventually and she shared her dilemma with me. i hope she feels better now :)

i used to idolize Lindsay Lohan a lot, till up to the extent of writing about her biography for one of my assignments during secondary school days. but now, she disappoints me with all the drama that's happening around her. well, i don't really blame her actually. what do you expect? it's Hollywood.

i'm planning to bake tmr, home alone. i looked like a total mess today. HORRIBLE.

goodnight.

2010-03-03T02:49:00.006+08:00

Selena looks cute in this :D

i hope that's Miley next to him

SEXY :D

Taylor why you so prettyyyy? jealous i.

Vanessa you look better with Zac Efron. SERIOUSLY.

i still don't like Demi. LOL.

hello Hayden Panettiere :) why are you in the bath tub?

so pretty, but why the past naked pics? :(

Selena Gomez you so jambuuuu! sorry Miley :/

Valentine's Day is so sweet :) Taylor Swift you so bimbo in this.

i hope someone watched The Notebook already. janji melayu *rolls eyes*

Miley you so hot! ^.^

se-top-pit eh Nick. think you so handsome ah?

I NEED MORE BASIC TEES RANDOM OR WHAT HAHAHAHA!

2010-03-03T02:16:00.001+08:00

"If only SOME guys have blogs and often update them just like how girls do, wouldn't that be easier for us girls to know what they're thinking?"

2010-03-03T00:45:00.004+08:00

if you ever feel like letting go,
i won't let you fall
when all hope is gone,
i know that you can carry on

i saw my Pri 1, 2, 3, 4 bestfriend in the bus on the way home just now. her name is Jane. i wanted to tegur her but i was afraid she wouldn't recognize me anymore :/ it's her birthday today- 3rd March. my intention was to wish her Happy Birthday. i still remember her birthday cos she used to be my bestfriend. Happy 18th Birthday Jane :) may you lead a blissful life <3

work was tiring today. it was pretty slacking actually cos the function was held at Siloso Beach. i've never done a function at a beach before, so today was my first time. the only thing that made me super exhausted was battling with my heels and the sand. OMG IT'S SO ANNOYING! my heels kept dugging deep into the sand, so frustrating. in the end, i used up alot of my energy just to make myself walk -.- but good experience though. i've always dream to have my wedding by the beach at sunset, so sweet. now i know how the function is being carried out jeng jeng jeng hahaha! ^.^ if i get married, i'm not gonna wear shoes, and make sure people don't overdo their attire cos the sand is gonna be everywhere lol :)

gonna go school tmr to collect logbook and attend itp briefing. must wake up early in the morning aiyerrrr :/ so sian. meeting Ikadjon too! i hope she's okay, got story! hehehehe. it's okay baby, i'm always here for you :)

goodnight.

2010-03-02T01:17:00.003+08:00

i want someone to love me, for who i am
i want someone to need me, is that so bad?

i did the most random-est thing today. i was thinking about having a slumber party while i was busy at work. LOL! oh and i also thought of other stuff too! like, that pyjamas at Cotton On Body, having extensions again, my last year's birthday dress which is collecting dust in my closet and cashew nuts. so random, veryvery random. i was so busy yet i still have time to think about all these. way to go Syiqin! -.-

but today, i'm happy. ask me why. okay why? cos when i reached home just now, i was exceptionally hungry. i didn't expect my mom to save any food for me cos she just doesn't. BUT THEN! there was murtabak on the kitchen table! ^.^ i was so motivated to bathe quickly just to eat lol! omg the murtabak tasted so yummeeeeeeeeeh :) honestly kan, i don't really like murtabak cos of the onions and all sorts of other weird stuffings inside but since i'm super famished, it somehow tasted delicious nyeahahaha. okay blogging about murtabak now makes me wanna eat it again. oh and yeah, i ate my murtabak at around 12.30am cos i reached home late. so that makes it a late heavy supper. fattening, but i don't care :) this is the best part of not having my brother around. i get to eat all the nice food yeay! ^.^ okay i just realized i blogged one whole paragraph about murtabak lol -.-

she really inspires me to have extensions again :) i like this picture of her, so pretty like rock chick :) ya i know some of you people dislike her but so what? as long as i like her and i'm happy about it then it's fine. tak kacau hidup orang lain pe hmph! i really like her though sometimes, i prefer Selena Gomez. Miley you rock! ^.^ i can't wait to see you in April, The Last Song :)

i quoted this from some guy's status on Facebook- if i can travel to the future, i wanna know who's my wife. then i'll search for her in the present. LOL SO CUTE I ALSO WANT LAH! but for me of course it's a guy lah lol.

i'm no longer broke, i'm bankrupt. goodnight.

2010-03-01T03:00:00.004+08:00

if it's not real
you can't hold it in your hand
you can't feel it with your heart

screw you attachment, i'm going to Romp V. yes i've finally decided and i'm very sure Aisya is gonna be overjoyed hearing this :) it's already bad enough that Paramore tickets are sold out when i have the money. in the end, i used the money to shop -.- i've waited god damn fucking long enough for my friends to be done with their school and exams and stuffs and endured my mom's constant naggings, rantings and never ending mood swings due to her menopause though i think most of the time, it's just her. i deserve a reward for being patient, seriously. i've never been patient for this long just to enjoy and get back my social life. i know every mother has her own "irritating side" but try being in my shoes and live with my mom for a week. i can give a 110% assurance, you will die.

i don't know why but it suddenly snapped me. i've been listening to people and being obedient all these while, being this goody two shoes girl and all but truth is, i'm not one. it's just not me. i don't do stuff which make me happy anymore, except for shopping. but still, there are other stuffs that i still wanna do. they may be wrong but i'm still a teenager. I NEED TO EXPLORE. i know my limits and as long as i don't breach them, i'm cool with stuffs. sorry to say this but i learn things through the hard way, i'll learn after i fall. i'm stubborn so what? live with it :)

i'll find a way to go Romp V. i've had my ways once, i can do it again.

sometimes i wonder if this (looks at image above) is ever true. what happens if one day, you bump into your ex or someone you used to have something going on with in the past and all of the sudden, 101 things start racing through your mind? can you even cope with the overwhelming butterflies in your stomach? i know i can't.

goodnight.

2010-02-28T17:42:00.005+08:00

according to you,

yesterday, i went out with Puvan to town. initial plan was to get the Topman voucher from him cos i wanted to buy a birthday gift for Amron (oops!) using it but then, Amron didn't want any gifts so yeah hahaha. in the end, voucher plan cancelled. however i couldn't just ditch Puvan just like that cos he made himself free for the day. so eventually, the plan to go out still continued lol :)

we're supposed to watch Avatar 3D at Cineleisure but thanks to me and my very clever brain, we watched Wolfman instead cos i checked the wrong timing for Avatar -.- i pity Puvan, he woke up early cos of me although he hadn't really recovered from his tipsy-ness lol. i think right, if i'm a guy, he would have punched my face on the spot LOL! but yeah, he's a nice guy so he's just being patient with me. sorry Puvan :( since the movie started at 3.40pm and it was i think around 2pm(?), we wanted to go find place to eat cos he was hungry but instead, we ended up walking to FEP and bought his necklace. at the necklace shop, he kept asking me to choose for him which one was nice. i preferred angular designs but he preferred the Yin&Yang one. dah tau masih nak mintak orang nye opinion -.- i think we were at the shop for quite some time just to choose what to buy lol. at last he chose the Yin&Yang one cos i asked the shop owner which one suited him more and he said the Yin&Yang. you know why? cos part of him can be an Angel and another, Devil. LOL HAHAHA! so dah bayar tu semua, keluar. went to buy sardine puff from Old Chang Kee halfway and then headed to Cineleisure for the movie. Wolfman is, should i say boring? but it's gross cos got gruesome stuffs lol.

after the movie, we didn't know where to go. we ended up walking straight to Dhoby Ghaut area there and we stopped at LJS at the hmm, i don't know how to explain where haha! so yeah ate already and stuff, we went to sit outside Cathay while Puvan smoked. talked about lots of random stuffs. we both damn talkative sia lol! thenthen this Puvan ah, can never fail to remind me take pic together LOL! so yes, eventually we took pictures but he didn't upload the uglyugly ones on Facebook hahahaha! then we paused taking pics for a while cos so tired -.- continued talking again and then a few minutes later, resume back camwhoring lol. after taking pics, we headed to Esplanade. otw there, Puvan was so worried about Hakim, why he hadn't been calling back and stuff. hahaha cute lah that guy!

reached Esplanade, he bought water and we chose to sit at a spot near the river(?) ahaha! talktalk and watched video about Puvan Hakim and other people. SO FUNNY SIA HAHAHA! ^.^ oh yes then Hakim called! i gave Puvan time to talk to his bro, of course lah. he missed him so much lol. then dah, walked to One Fullerton. played games along the way and as usual, he took me to the long route lol -.- then when reaching the place, suddenly i decided to go home cos i realized it was already late. perangai seh Syiqin haha. walked to City Hall mrt station, passed through CityLink. then he began disturbing strangers. it was so funny lah i couldn't stop LMFAO hahaha! then boarded the train and we stood near the door cos he wanted to lean against the glass panel, padehal we could have just moved in cos there's still space. perangai haha. kept making fun of people in the train. i ngantuk boleh jadi energetic balek seh hahaha! soon, Puvan alighted at Jurong East and i continued my journey to Boon Lay.

overall, it was a great day :) i learnt about the different types of bikes too ^.^ thanks Puvan for the day although you kept saying you stress with me hahaha! nvm, get used to it :P finally got pics. more on facebook! :)

p.s: Puvan is so obsessed with his cheeks haha! take care.

2010-02-28T16:58:00.003+08:00

it's normal for human beings to feel sad but keeping it to themselves right? sighhh :(

i feel like venting out my anger here but i realized there's no point in doing so, cos it's too personal. i just feel hurt sometimes. i know i'm the black sheep here. but whenever you're down and you need a listening ear, you just want someone to listen to your day or you just need some cash, who do you usually turn to? me. have you ever at least spare a thought for that? i don't think so cos apparently in your eyes, i'm always the trouble.

fml.

2010-02-27T03:41:00.006+08:00

GOOD MORNING EARTHLINGS! v^.^v

i think i'm gonna do a proper blogpost now. i've finally regained my energy to do so lol. went to have my so-called dinner, the sweet sour fish or whatever it's called in malay- the spicyspicy one. ah yes that. i didn't even bother about my allergy cos my tummy needs more attention. i'm gonna expect rashes outbreak soon but naah, i don't think it's gonna happen. i'm a perfectly healthy girl. wow, self-consoling does help :)

one of the reasons why my previous post feels, undone. i was otp with Puvan while pretending that there isn't any incoming call on the other line. that guy claimed to be tipsy but he said he didn't drink. righttt -.-. i hope he really found his block, not his sub-conscious saying that he had found it and should get some sleep. he thinks he's a vampire ah? lol. plus, i was famished but my butt was too heavy to be shifted hehehe :P so yeah, my post became sasaran hahaha.

okay since i know i have a super obese chance of attending Romp V, i wanna enlighten myself! today i was early for work, like 2 hours earlier. well it's nothing new to me cos i'm always early LOL! kk anyway, decided to walk around town for awhile. the benefit of working at town areas ^.^ despite that it was raining, i still window-shopped cos nothing can ever stop me from doing so, even though when i'm very broke :) so yeah, went to Cotton On megastore. i saw the floral skirt which i've been eyeing for sometime already. and guess what? it's ON SALE omgggg!! 2 for $20. one for i don't know how much hahaha. but i just walked away cos the store was very packed, i don't like packed shops. so i decided to head to the bustop to work. but i don't know why all of the sudden my kaki so gatal walk to Rubi Shoes at ION. and guess what guess what? I SAW THE SANDALS I'VE BEEN WANTING SO BADLY FOR 10 FREAKING BUCKS!!! :D imagine ah. actual cost price was $39.95 or something, then the price fell to i think around 15bucks cos of CNY. THEN NOW IT'S 10BUCKS! i finally got my hands on it cos it has been mentally hanting me for weeks already muahahaha! except that it wasn't exactly the colour i wanted but so what! at least now i can sleep in peace v^.^v and yeah, i'm broke-er now -.-

Hi Puvan, there's a first time for everything. even when someone thinks you're not handsome hahahahahahah! :)

okay i feel so much better already :)

2010-02-27T01:53:00.003+08:00

where have we gone wrong?

this is a tribute to Abdul Hakim and Puvan. SPONGEBOB is Abdul Hakim whereas PATRICK is Puvan :) i did this tribute cos i think Puvan is so cute to wait for Hakim while he's away at ship lol. so sweet ah this guy hahaha. i think he misses Hakim. it's okay, he'll come back :)

i have nothing much to blog about actually cos partially i'm tired and hungry, and another partially lol, i'm upset. sighh life's unfair.

my friends are finally making plans- attending ROMP V on the 15th March. and you know what it means? i have to give it a miss cos of attachment :( it's just not fair. i don't go around making poeple's lives miserable, why can't i just have one night of pure bliss? :(

goodnight.

2010-02-26T01:30:00.003+08:00

i would give the world just to see you smile

FUCKING HOTSTUFFSZXSZXSZ!! no not guys, it's racing bikes :) i dropped the idea of getting a car license early last year cos something else interests me more hehehe. i wanna take a bike license instead ^.^ i find bikes more reckless and adventurous, i like :) i know it's more prone to accidents and stuffs but yeah, if it's meant to be then accidents would happen LOL! it first started out with checking out guys in racing bikes, so hottt hahahaha. but then, i realized that some guys with racing bikes aren't that hot, it's the bike that gives me the impression. so i decided that i want a racing bike but if i don't have a bike license, then why would i need it? for display in the carpark? hence, i'm aiming for a bike license. BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING THAT IS STOPPING ME! i can't stand those dresses and perfumes and cute tote bags and shoes and so many other stuffs, especially when it's on sale. if i carry on being this way, i can kiss my bike license goodbye :( oh well for now, racing bikes are still a head-turner for me. if i ever get a handsome boyfriend with a racing bike, waah baik pe eee cheeky eh syiqin haha! :P dream on je kay *rolls eyes* no i'm not materialistic, it's just a plus point. my idea of my future boyfriend is stuck in my head :) skali i end up being a lesbian ah! no no even before i start falling for a girl, my friends would kill me first lol.

what did i do the whole day today? watch Syurga Cinta, tu pon halfway. cos i ended up sleeping after having my lunch lol. macam mane tak gemuk? -.- completed my ITP exam, finally! the chapters are so long and boring but there are only 20 questions overall, and the introduction said it's gonna take 8 hours to complete the chapters. like wth right spend so much time reading the chapters and end up only got 20 questions! very the rolls eyes one million times *rolls eyes*.

oh yes! i googled about Boyanese, originated from the Bawean Island in Indonesia. it is also known as the Puteri Island cos it's dominated by women as men usually go out of the island to earn a living. but the weird thing is, i couldn't find anything about it's black magic, so it has left me wondering there. though Boyanese is a small population in Indonesia, it makes up quite a big population in Singapore as ancestors went to Singapore (i think) during World War 2, whereas the Javanese makes up a smaller population in Singapore though it is the biggest ethnic race in Indonesia. so yes, that's all i managed to find. just something to share. i know it's boring but it pleases me hahaha. semangat pe Syiqin! lol -.-'

Jadi lah seorang wanita dalam bekas kaca yang sukar disentuh. Hanya seorang sahaja yang mampu memilikinya. goodnight.

2010-02-25T15:08:00.007+08:00

be the one to blow my mind away

i am so upset. Maskur last minute texted me this morning saying that he can't make it today cos he was called to work at the very last minute. sedih sedih sedih! :( dah ah whatever ah tak nak bbl dengan kau lagi ah. chey next step dramatic pat sini. padehal he apologized and said probably some other day can. ah nvm lah, my friends are gonna be done with their school soon. so it means i have something fun to do later yeay! patience is a virtue ^.^

i have plans on 3rd March yessa! :) Amron invited me to his birthday celebration, turning 20 already seh chey chey haha! and you know what's the awesome part? he's planning of celebrating it at Sakura, the one i blogged about in the previous post lol! coincidence seh :) so, we should tell him asap if we can make it cos he needs to make reservations. at first he wanna have dress code- white, teros i panic to the max sia! i have this thing for dress codes, lagilagi white. OMG I DON'T HAVE ANY WHITE APPARELS! :O then i told him straight i don't have white baju and i don't wanna shop for any cos i'm currently broke now. i suggested picking other colours ah, black or blue ke lol. then eventually, he decided not to have any dress code or whatsoever cos it's easier that way. just make sure we girls dress up and look pretty on that day, make the guys drool lol -.- he said make sure i have the letter "S" on my dress- "S" for single lol! i think that was supposed to be a joke, very lame eh -.- then i replied okay! we'll dress up so nicely only for your birthday :) mesti ah kene dress up, da bagos he decides not to have any dress code. can save my money hehehe.

okay so i'm bored today, home alone. i think i'm gonna start my itp exam on Blackboard. Fathimah said it was only 20 questions but quite difficult sighh. wait i wanna eat ice-cream first hahaha. nvm shall update soon later, maybe.

I'M CRAVING FOR CHEWY JUNIOR I WANT ONE NOW!! take care.

2010-02-24T22:23:00.008+08:00

love can touch us one time
and last for a lifetime
and never go till we're gone

i'm gonna make a promise to myself- never ever switch buses at places which i'm not familiar with AT ALL when going home. it happened to me again, i got lost on my way home from Tiong Bahru, AGAIN! alamak boleh jadi gila seh gini! asyik sesat je takut seh! seriously i felt like crying in the bus tadi. it passed by places that i've heard before but unsure about the exact locations on the map, eg: Alexander Road, Henderson Road. i was freeeeeaking scared to my wits sia! i really wanted to call someone, anyone. i was already at the verge of crying. case dah takut gila nak mampos. skali end up, i saw Pasir Panjang. LOL! kk then after that, i felt safe hahahaha! bimbo -.-'

so after being a scaredy cat, i looked out calmly. omg how long have i been living in singapore already? then i saw places which i used to come by often. the Poly Marina bus stop where we used to wait for the bus every thursday after school cos we were so damn lazy to walk cos the sun was always scorching hot at that point of time, and the Sakura restaurant at Kent Ridge park which i used to come quite often whenever i'm out of plans. i kindda miss dining there actually. it feels different dining there with your family and friends. but even if i wanna dine there now with my friends, i doubt they'd even wanna follow cos it's quite expensive just for food. so yeah, i know none of my friends would want to go, except ... haiya nvm. i just miss the times i spent there, just eating and talking about anything over food. then we would just rest for a while cos we felt super full already, and then we continued for the dessert. we could just spend the entire night dining there although i know he would rather go home and spend his time on computer games. it was just, sweet. oh well, life's a lil foggy a lil soggy :)

just a little something to share with you readers, if there is even anyone reading my blog. okay in Laos, if you're consecutively hiccuping, it means that somebody is thinking and talking about you. it's a good thing, not the bad-mouthing sort. you know how i know? i was hiccuping all the way at work today, then my colleague from Laos told me that in her country, that's what it meant. for a moment, i kembang skejap. skejap je taw! tak lama hehehehe. so yeah, add it up to your general knowledge people! ^.^

after yesterday's convo with my friend, suddenly i thought through about the things i've said. if someone whom you loved dearly hurts you not only once or twice but many times, wants you back, and she/he has really changed alot for the better, would you still accept her/him back? if she/he can hurt you once, how can you be so sure she/he will never hurt you again? i felt like i was talking to myself, surfacing the hurtful facts but it kept me thinking. i know i'm not supposed to, but i'm still a human.

goodnight.

2010-02-23T21:44:00.009+08:00

when one door closes, another one opens

what a day today! work wasn't as tiring, it was pretty slacking actually hahaha. naah, i shall not mention where i'm working cos i wanna avoid details from falling into the wrong hands :) so yeah, i learnt something new today. well the guests asked if i was mixed blood, i replied nope :( then i told them, my mum is a boyanese and my dad is a javanese. then they started becoming so hyper about my family background. one of them started relating boyanese blood to black magic.
then i told them that my nenek said we're not related to any black magic, we're the good ones :) then the same person continued that he believes daughters of boyanese blood shouldn't be messed around with. he always reminds his son that if he ever dates a boyanese girl, it's best not to hurt her cos he'll never know what unfortunate lucks he may get in return. the moment he said about all these, i went rolling my eyes one million times in my mind. he's so superstitious. i don't believe in such things and even if it's true, i'm mixed anyway. so it won't really work on me lol. but i think it's an interesting topic, shall google about it later :)

so while i was on the way home, around my neighbourhood, i saw this veryvery cute kitten. natural reaction for me lah, i would walk hastily. but then today was different. the little kitty look so kesian gitu. veryvery kurus macam da tak makan brape hari, so layu, so sad :( i tak sampai hati nak walk away. so, i went to buy the small carton HL Milk from the mama shop bawah blok nearby. then i asked the uncle if he has a small container tupperware gitu. he has he has! ^.^ i quickly walked back to the kitty, hoping it hadn't ran away yet, AND IT DIDN'T! ^.^ i poured some milk for it. the kitty teros react seh, then licklick the susu. then i continue walking back home. but this still doesn't change the fact that i'm afraid of cats. i cannot lah, the way its tail brushes against my leg, so geliiii! geli geli geli! *shows geli face*

facebook demam eh? asl i cannot masukmasuk ni? nvm lah tweet tweet TWITTER! ^.^

i don't know when i can enjoy my remaining days with my friends, the usual aisya raden puteri and everybody else. like no more girls' night outs anymore cos of our unsynchronised timings :( i've been counting down the days to my attachment. haiyaaa macam couting down the days to enter prison while my friends are gonna be released. sighhh i'm living in such a sad life. k syiqin takmo nak start jadi dramatic kat sini eh -.-'

i'm in a mood for movies these days but the HUGE MAJOR PROBLEM is, i have no one to accompany me watch them. my friends are all busy with school and exams and assignments, and i'm so lazy to scroll down my contacts looking for people for company. sedih kan gini macam? tau :(

yes i'm so very egoistic and i'm never gonna admit, so what? goodnight.

2010-02-23T01:38:00.003+08:00

HELLO THERE! ^.^V

first and foremost, i will proudly announce that i'm having difficulties sleeping now. ala senang kata kan, i cannot sleep lol -.-' pantat ayam betol, boleh cakap yang senang tak nak, nak long-winded around the wind pulak! hehehehe sorry strawberry lah, saje je nak buat loooong post :P

kk i wanna make another great announcement. THANK YOU MASKUR FOR SAVING ME FROM THE DEATH PIT OF BOREDOM! YEAY KAU BAIK LAH ^.^ untung betol aku eh dapat kawan macam kau! ye lah, pat gini je kau baik. mesti lah, you wanna susahsusah pass me all your downloaded movies on this coming thursday. happy seh! tell me, who wouldn't be happy? he susahsusah download manymany, i take free happyhappy only. ala, da kawan since sec 1, takkan pasal downloaded movies pon nak petty kan kan kan? ^.^ sepak baru tau -.- ala he won't know i'm blogging about him so nvm hehehe :P jangan skali he last minute cancels with me, i cry ah i tell you! da eh syiqin, takmo nak step cute pat sini. menyampah *rolls eyes*.

and so, i'm actually working tmr at 11am. tidur tak seberapa, ada hati nak kerja pagi. hahahaha nvm syiqin strong :) so when i can't sleep and i have nothing better to do, i blog. rindu masa duludulu blog pasal everything and anything under the sun woohoo! well except that it's at night lol okay syiqin lame dah diam. eee i'm becoming more merepek seh at night. ah alhamdulillah baru kau sedar syiqin? kay whatever *rolls eyes*. omg i think i'm talking to myself okay shoosh.

hmm what else to blog about eh? ah yes! when i reached home just now, i saw DANIAL that cute little baby boy! eee geram seh! cute siakkkkk pipi like mashmellow so cuteeee! ^.^ then immediately energy boost seh, teros entertain budak kecik tu. he's only one year old fyi. alalala comel nye! macam nak kidnap je buat bantal peluk malam-malam. omg i sound sick. okay dah enough. i don't know why but i love toddlers, so adorable! but when they start screaming, woah my house like wanna roboh seh. but it's okay, they're just small kids :)

oh no my tummy grumbling again. lapaaaar lagi! :O eh seriously eh syiqin, tu perut ade ulat pe? atau sebelum makan tak baca bismillah? haiyoyo lapar lah! grumbling grumbling grumblinggggg :/ i wanna go on the SkyRider at Marina Bay, is it still there? oh &&! i still wanna watch DearJohn! in cinemas on 25th Feb. somebody make a date with me please i really wanna watch it! okay sidetrack :B

guess what? i bought a nice ear stud for my piercing that's at the top of my ear. okay info so tak perlu. but i like lah, macam shinyshiny gitu. so pretty i like i loveeeee ^.^

da eh syiqin gi tidur skrg, besok kau tak boleh bangun siap eh! my mama always says that to me if i sleep late hehehehe. goodnight selamat malam! other languages i lazy to google to find out :)

2010-02-22T22:13:00.003+08:00

memories that fade like photographs

i don't know what i should start off with. okay yes i know now. today there had been a change of plans. we were supposed to watch a movie today and when fickle-ness plus broke-ness came around, plans were bound to change. that's what happened to Puteri and i today.

we intended to go to flea at the Women's Association next to NAFA cos Nadya once said they always have flea market. so yeah, i reached Bugis at around 2pm when Puteri texted saying that flea ends at 3. i panicked, rushed and met her. we speeded up and headed to the location, unsure of it's exact location. however when we arrived, there wasn't any sign of flea around. according to Puteri, Raden texted saying that it's held inside. but we don't see anything inside! so yeah, eventually we decided to walk around Bugis street since i hadn't top up my concession yet. i bought my cinch belt after months of it mentally haunting me, though the colour wasn't exactly my preference. well it's okay, at least it's nice :) after that, i topped up my concession and we continued our journey to Vivo. oh yes yes! before that, we walked to Cityhall and walked around CityLink Mall and then to Penin. then we went to Funan for atm and then headed back to Cityhall mrt station again to top up my concession. then back up again to the bus stop to board the bus to Vivo. woah baik pe kita haha! penat adelah -.-

arrived at Vivo, so noisyyyyy! so many lion dancing everywhere, if you know what i mean. Puteri funny seh, takot nah dengan lion dance! you should see her freaking out, classic sak reaction! kalahkan budak kecik ^.^ went to F21 to buy my wallet, well it's actually a purse. okay i don't exactly know what it is so yeah whatever. ANYWAY, bought it and ta-da! new wallet so pretty i likeee! ^.^ woah lincah pe syiqin beli wallet baru haha! so here's two WANT items down. check out the list:

BODY SHOP's Japanese Cherry Blossom body mist
~~wallet~~
RUBI SHOES sandals
~~cinch belt~~
black futuristic leggings
another cute tote bag

well i need to save up, kan Puteri kan? ^.^ hahaha yes it's our plan to save up. she wants an iPod touch whereas i want lots of items. but i've got attachment coming. speaking of which, itp placement is out. they're only paying me $440 per month. CHEAP LABOUR OR WHAT? sedih seh! :( sighhh fml.

oh yes, i don't know how to say this. you like tak sedar diri or tak tau malu? you're already dating my friend and you're still going all defensive and lying to me about it. excuse me HELLO?! i was just asking, and at least i was very direct to admit that i'm kpo. it's not like i'm gonna tell the whole entire singapore about it, i just wanna know. and see now? the cat is let out of the bag, and you knew i was right all along do you? hahaha nak step low profile konon, i can laugh my ass off man hahaha! jangan nak i u i u with me kay please *rolls eyes*.

whatever happens to my beautiful friendships? they usually don't last long. goodnight.

2010-02-21T22:39:00.010+08:00

and i still shed a tear every once in a while

this is the third post for today. see how bored i am? very bored. i can't do the itp exam on Blackboard cos of i don't know what. it's pretty frustrating. omg if SMA wants to torture our souls by sending us for itp for 6 months, at least please don't torture our vulnerable souls further by having an exam before starting the programme. OH CMON GIVE US A BREAK! *rolls eyes one million times* since i can't seem to complete it just now, not mentioning i didn't even get to start the introduction, i shall try it again some other time since the deadline is on 28th Feb. oh yes! i got back my Marine Engineering results. it was disappointing, had 3 marks lesser than my previous score :( but it's okay syiqin, you did your best. look at the bright side, at least you passed. yipeee i passed! ^.^

the girl i want to be: beautiful, successful and heartless. thank the guy who made me this way, seriously. i feel so crushed ever since. does he have to push my morale so low, till he left me with no more humanity to care about others, hurting people along the way now? it's just not fair, simply not fair. i wanna be that strong girl again, who just lets the past be the past. who just laughs it off when things get difficult and always ends off a bad day with, at least there's a bright side. i don't feel that way anymore. HE JUST HAD TO CRUSH ME SO BADLY LIKE STEPPING ON AN ANT. things are so difficult to fathom now, but i always remind myself- i deserve someone better, someone who i can and would fall for, and good things would happen between us along the way. someone who would really truly love and respect me for who i am. i'm through with all these shits. now, i'm still unsure about my feelings. i may have crushes and stuffs, then out of it again, then in again. it's like a cycle and i don't want all that. i wanna find one that i can stay with. but i gotta be strong again, i have to. i must, and that'll take time. lots of time.

thanks Puvan for all your smiley emoticons and asking me to smile always whenever i'm feeling down though at times, you're so sneaky about something hahaha. thanks Matin for your never ending advices, helping me through all these shits and making me see the big entire picture that's happening. thanks Ikadjon for being there by my side all these times, though you're busy with your school stuff etc. you're like an elder sister i've never had. thanks Aisya for telling me the entire truth, and also hearing out whenever i pour out my stories to you. you must be bored hearing them already lol.

i'm still regaining my stand from all these. i wanna stand up strong again cos i believe through the dark tunnel, there's a bright light at the end. it's like, there'll be someone better, just that i haven't met him yet. yes, it does hurt sometimes whenever i'm alone and suddenly thinking about it, but i'm recovering. thanks to all my friends who have been there all these while :)

well for now, i'm deciding what to do with Puteri tmr. i told her i wanna watch My Name is Khan. i'm unsure if she likes watching hindustan movies, she said she doesn't mind ^.^ but i still wanna check out any romantic/comedy/thriller movies now showing in cinemas. omg i sense a movie marathon here :)

me: ye la, takde duit tapi mataer tak betul buatpe. i rather be broke and have all the stuffs i want plus my friends. lagi best. you don't need a mataer to feel loved :)
someone: hahaha ya true. tapi if mataer okay camne?
me: then i'll be the luckiest girl in the world haha! ^.^
someone: hahahahaha. bagos (((:
me: ape yang bagos?
someone: hahahahaha nth ((:
*syiqin shows confused face*

to all my friends having exams starting from tmr, ALL THE BEST! :) goodnight.

2010-02-21T17:28:00.005+08:00

after all the lies you made me believe
and the way my innocence tastes
i deserve much better than you

look at the weather, JUST LOOK AT THE WEATHER. it's raining best nye! ^.^ thank goodness i choose to stay at home today. i don't like it when it's raining while i'm out with my friends, so leceh seh though i love the rain. later must bring umbrella, heavy lah lol -.- well the main reason why i choose to stay at home is so obvious isn't it? i'm broke. yes, BROKE. damn, i still have so many other things to buy- MY SANDALS! plus i've yet to top up my bus concession. oh ya! another reason why i choose to stay at home is because, my bus concession expired yesterday. so cannot go out cos i prefer traveling around by bus hehh. i still need to buy perfume cos my Body Shop perfume oil is finishing soon, must buy first before it's too late! time to ask mummy for her membership card hehehe. alamak like this must also buy for her the musky body lotion ah, WITH MY MONEY! big bottle some more :O ah nvm, can say i forgot :P

i find this funny. my family actually plans to go out today. so i don't know why, my abang is so enthu go get ready first. eventually outing cancelled, and guess where i saw him? he's sleeping in his room, in his ironed jeans -.- i don't know why but i find it funny haha! like, so enthu enthu get ready and everything, end up outing cancelled. and the best part is, he didn't even know it was cancelled till he woke up HAHAHA! lost sak lol! omg i'm so mean hahahaha :B

i love this picture, one of my favourites from yesterday's outing :) i love the beach alot, and i love it better if i get to take pictures there. i don't know why but i feel so happy there, it's like so heavenly hahaha. plus, this pic was taken during sunset. i likeee ^.^

i'm going out with Puteri tmr. she wanted me to accompany her cos her school ends at 12. isn't great to have friends who are done with their exams? :) well, we don't really exactly know what to do tmr. she suggested cycling, swimming or watching movies, besides town. yeah, i'm kindda sick and tired of town too lol. it's bores me alot. but i wanna watch My Name is Khan! heard it has good reviews. hmm, shall decide later tonight! :)

i wanna watch Dear John! somebody accompany me please, i promise i'll love you forever! :)

i'll update later, maybe. take care

2010-02-21T02:11:00.007+08:00

i'm giving away all my secrets to you, slowly.

OMGOMGOMGGGG I AM TOTALLY BROKE NOW! :O this isn't happening to me! but it's not my fault okay! the flea market at Wavehouse was so tempting ^.^ omg you should see the prices, and the rings! omg the rings are so cute! and there are so many other cute tops, bags, dresses, more tops and bottoms too! i'm so forever with my oversized tee hehehe. cute lah i likeeee ^.^

went to Puteri's working location after shopping cos apparently she wanted us to chill out there first lol. kita buat kedai tu macam rumah sendirik seh hahaha! camwhore everywhere with the umbrellas, bikinis, shades, beach balls lol! but i think it's really scary to work there alone during closing. the patrons are unexpecting and not to mention, weird. kesian seh Puteri :(

after fetching Puteri from her location, we sent Aisya to the monorail as she wanted to go home to study for her exams. good luck Aisya! :) after that, we headed to Pahlawan cos Puteri wanted to give keys to her colleague. then we headed back to Wavehouse cos she wanted to shop, whereas Sue and I were already so exhausted from it lol. BUT THEN! OMG THE COTTON ON DRESS WAS SOLD AT 8BUCKS, AND THEN WE BARGAINED TILL 7BUCKS! OMGOMGOMGGGGG! the offer was soooo hard to resist that we girls plus Shidah bought it hahahaha! ah heck care with being broke for the rest of the entire week, at least i bought the dress ^.^

when we left Sentosa, at Vivo, Sue and I counted our money. she had $1.50 left and i had $1.20 left. OMG SHE'S RICHER THAN ME BY 30CENTS! IMPOSSIBLE! SHE BOUGHT MORE STUFFS THAN ME! :O okay da syiqin takmo bingit. at least you got your stuffs. and yes, i love my stuffs! ^.^

omg flea market makes me so hyper. the next flea market, i'm so gonna suck my bank account dry. shittttttt. nevermind, i'm a girl. it's normal to shop. the next thing i'm gonna buy soon, WALLET! my Billabong wallet smells disgusting cos of the water leakage of my water bottle. oh &&! that hot pink and golden wallets from F21 are so pretty! considering considering. hehehehehehe :B

more pictures on facebook! :) goodnight.

2010-02-19T01:11:00.005+08:00

you appear just like a dream to me
just like a kaleidoscope colours that cover me

i had an awesome time today ^.^ went to watch Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief (or whatever the title is) with Puvan :) so random hehehe. sorry i changed the timing to super late till you had to fall back onto your bed :P the movie was great, a must watch! Puvan said Percy Jackson looked like Zac Efron, but i think Percy's waaay cuter. Zac Efron is old lol -.- i kept complaining on how hungry i was, so eventually he let me eat the entire popcorn. checkcheck rupenye orang tu pun nak ye :P

after movie, we went to that amusement park or whatever it is at Marina Bay. is it Marina Bay, the one that last year's Countdown took place at? yeah i think so. well when we arrived, i really wanted to go on at least one ride but after checking and staring at the rides for quite a while, suddenly i felt so scared. of puking. seriously omg lah so not me! Puvan another one, scared about the hair -.- then eventually i didn't take any of the rides though i really think the SkyRider looks fun :)

if i continue blogging about today, i think till tmr there won't be an ending hehehe. oh yeah. i didn't get my sandals or dress, and i don't care. cos i'm going to flea on saturday yeay! looking forward to it yes baby i'm sooo looking forward to it ^.^ oh and i don't think Puteri will be fickle about going to flea this time round, cos it'll be at Sentosa. very convenient for her cos that's where she works lol. if she changes her mind, i swear i will haunt her down at her location.

i feel so much better today, after all the drama that has happened recently. SO MUCH BETTER. thank you so very much to you :) i now strongly believe that everything happens for a reason- why certain things just don't work out the way you want them to be but in the end, you get something better in return without even realising it. yes, now i truly believe in that :)

finally, i'm able to wash you out of my hair. goodnight.

2010-02-18T13:29:00.005+08:00

re-blog and bold which month you are.

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
_______________________________________________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
_________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
_________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
_________________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be
quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
_________________________________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make
friends .
_________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
_________________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of
what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable
_________________________________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical
_________________________________

i'm still dumbfounded at how true this is, except for the part- unique and brilliant, sharp thinking, romantic blablabla cos i think i'm neither of the above lol.

pretty addictive, so pretty in pink! somebody ask me out today please. i need to get those pair of sandals i fell in love with at Rubi plus a long-sleeved white laced dress. okay Puteri just msn-ed me that there's flea at Wavehouse this weekend. omg i'm so going! wait, must set aside 3bucks for the entrance fee to Sentosa lol -.-

2010-02-17T22:58:00.006+08:00

i'll never be the same if we ever meet again

"You are looking to take control of many aspects of your life, Sagittarius, and your romantic affairs are certainly no exception. This is a time where whether you are single or attached, you will find that sex and money BOTH count for plenty now, and maybe for you, a little too much. Wanting something or someone seems to take on special importance for you, just take caution because it may even be obsession. Try to distinguish between wants, needs, and obsessive desire before making a move on anyone. Yes, you are the type that once you get your eyes fixed on the prize, there is little that can be done to distract you. Do not be afraid to open those eyes up a little bit in this period, as you may be missing more opportunities than you think right now."

today things have been rather weird(?) for me. i really don't know what or how to describe them. i'm seriously not prepared for all these, been in this state for too long already. it's just shocking. i know i'll be devastated in the end but it's already done though it wasn't my idea. i was gobsmacked, my sweaty palms became cold and sweatier. but i know i'll just have to face things then, whether i like it or not. or maybe, things wouldn't even happen.

don't keep your hopes too high, you'll just end up falling. goodnight.

2010-02-15T02:35:00.004+08:00

i told myself i won't miss you
but i remembered
what it feels like beside you

random pic right i know. time now: 3.30am. seriously something's wrong with my internet connection. it's always sick at night. i will not talk about today's day at work, so many red. ye lah, mentangmentang Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day, semua merah! let's keep it short and simple shall we? OH YEAH OMG YOU ARE BACK?! shittttttttt :O now i really really need to start finding a new location. oh my i totally regret making a move lah. i talked to you cos i didn't want to have that awkward-ness around us at work. cmon lah, if ever i'm supposed to be your partner and we're not talking cos of whatever that happened, confirm i die sia. and i bet you don't wanna die together with me by being reprimanded upside down from the manager right? see, everything fits the picture perfectly. but you just don't get the entire big picture clearly do you? I DO NOT WISH TO SPEAK OF WHY I ACTED DIFFERENTLY AROUND YOU SO BETTER BE GRATEFUL THAT I'M TALKING TO YOU NOW AS THOUGH NOTHING EVER HAPPENED OR YOU CAN REALLY JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE TYVVM.

why do i feel so fucking angry and my blood starts boiling whenever i see you hitting on some girl, but whenever i see him with my own eyes being with another girl, i can hear my heart crushing? someone please tell me why. WHY. it just hurts alot lah, especially when that girl is your own friend :(

Goodnight.

2010-02-14T13:31:00.007+08:00

'cause when i close my eyes and drift away
i think of you and everything's okay
but there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life

Shidah's birthday party yesterday was great :) the food was AWESOME! not to mention the chocolate fondue and the satay and the fried chicken and the birthday cake, everything was superbly yummy! ^.^ well, her birthday is supposedly today so yeah, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY! happyhappy selalu ye! :) oh and if you're wondering which one is the birthday girl, it's the gorgeous girl with long curly hair in a red dress. there's only one girl with curly hair, so i don't think it's difficult to figure it out hehehe. more pictures on facebook! :B

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! well i'm working today hahaha. turned down another date yesterday cos i'm working and yeah, not interested lol. later kena jinxed lagi. sedih pe! :( so to all those people out there going out on a date, have fun yea! to those who don't have any date, well it's okay. stay at home and watch tv. i bet there are nice shows showing :) okay my dream about getting a surprised bouquet of flowers, can forget it eh syiqin haha! cmon it's only a dream *rolls eyes*

should i take on the offer? should i ke tak eh Sya? should i should i? you know i know hehehe. very tempting i likeeee, but i don't know if my mother would allow it. cmon mama! it's a super damn good offer, and i've been berangan-angan about it when i was a child. gosh and i got it 10years later. cool or what? ^.^ should i? hmmm *thinking*

no brother+no sister+no father=me+mother at home=more food+more attention on me. damn. why must everything has the bad side following? sighh

to all my chinese friends, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! ah go collect manymany hongbaos, later you become very rich then i jealous :P i'm currently addicted to Better than Me by Hinder. the song so sad but i like, but Miley's Goodbye is still the best :) okay now i really feel so lazy to go to work. how eh? either next Monday or Tuesday, gonna accompany Puteri for photoshooting for her assignment. best kan ada kawan yang dah habis exam? i'm super free i tell you. but once most of my friends are done with school, i'll be having my attachment. ala seriously wrong timing ah :(

seriously, you should have told me. take care.

2010-02-13T00:32:00.004+08:00

cross my heart
i wear no disguise
babyy, thank you for loving me

Exam day 5. HOORAY SCHOOL'S OFFICIALLY OUT! yeay! ^.^ i shall not talk about today's paper cos i don't even wanna think about it. omg you don't know how elated i am. if there are clouds above cloud nine, yes that'll be where i would be now :) i hope raden doesn't back out tmr. i really wanna go to Shidah's 21st birthday celeb. finally a day out, FINALLY! please make it, please.

if i ever get a bouquet of flowers or roses mailed personally to my doorstep on Valentine's Day, i'll be the happiest girl in the world. oh make it more thrilling! i hope the sender doesn't write his name or anything. chey nak step surprise je eh hahaha! yeah and it'll leave me wondering so much till i can't go to bed at night lol -.-'

GOODBYE SCHOOL AND HELLO HOLIDAYS! ^.^

"It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it."

Goodnight.

2010-02-11T23:39:00.009+08:00

if in the dark you lose sight of love
hold my hand and never fear
for i will be here
with you always

Exam day 4. today was seamanship. the paper was easy, HOWEVER! i wasted my bloody time forcing myself to memorize the last chapter cos there were lots of things to remember, and you know what came out that makes up the majority of the questions? the beginning chapters, and you know what happened to me? once i saw those questions, i swore i knew what the answers were. but my mind just went BLANK cos i totally drilled myself with the last chapter only, and there is only one question that came out from that chapter. WTH! i was super pissed off lah. but i always think of the bright side, at least it's done :)

went to Cineleisure to watch Valentine's Day with Aisya yeay! ^.^ damn hilarious! you guys should watch it. as we were walking along Orchard, i saw girls carrying flowers all around and there were flowers being sold everywhere. please lah eh, it's not even Valentine's Day yet *rolls eyes*. but sometimes, i envy these girls. they're so lucky that their boyfriends surprise them with flowers. so so lucky. i can die of being heartbroken. sighhh but nvm! i have all the time in the world to choose the right guy for myself lol.

i love this picture! so cool lol. tmr's last paper- Safety Navigation. then HOORAY SCHOOL'S OUT!! damn i totally have no mood to study for tmr's paper. i just wanna sleep hahaha. sometimes i wonder, how come i look younger than those who're younger than me? how come how come how come? okay so random. da lah, lazy ah wanna continue studying. syiqin tired already :B

"I can be the one who would eat junk food with you if your girlfriend doesn't want to. I can be the one who would watch tv with you if she chooses to sleep. I can be the one who would lend you a shoulder to cry on if she breaks your heart." - Valentine's Day

Goodnight.

2010-02-10T18:26:00.003+08:00

even though she doesn't believe in love
he's determined to call her bluff

Exam day 3. today was presentation for Dreamweaver and i came late, overslept -.-' seriously wrong timing eh syiqin to be late! luckily i made it in time just as the presentation was about to begin. basically it lasted for 30 minutes and then, done. we could go home after presenting. got back our results for Fireworks exam. i did well, unexpectedly. syukur alhamdulillah :) i needed to pass this module badly cos i flung it last term. went to my nenek's house to rest and had my lunch there. didn't wanna go home cos it was too far and i had to go back to school by 2 to rehearse for Gems skit. i shouldn't have gone home right? i know, but i was super exhausted lah please. i dropped the idea of going to flea today. needed my bed really badly, plus my right eye is still hurting. i'm afraid of getting cataracts like someone. should i pay a visit to the doctor? but i'm so busy :(

tmr is seamanship paper. chapter 8 has the most thickest, compiled notes ever. not to mention that we have other topics to study. damn. but thank goodness it's an afternoon paper. well, not so afternoon exactly compared to the other 3pm papers. tmr's 1.30pm, which means not enough time to brush up tmr :( nvm, shall motivate myself tonight. but i have to take a nap first, or else it'll just be a waste of my time and energy studying without a single thing entering my noodle. hope i can wake up later :/

"Falling in love is not falling for the right person. It's learning to love an imperfect person perfectly."

oh ya! guys who speak good english and sms in proper english is a plus point haha! take care.

2010-02-09T23:03:00.006+08:00

my wish is coming true
erase the memory of your face

Exam day 2. marine engineering today was okay. can lah eh. i didn't have enough time to actually think through thoroughly before submitting the answers cos the timer was finishing soon and i was still way behind. gosh, is it just me or they should extend the duration of the papers? no lah i think it's just me lol. had Dreamwaver project meeting after the paper. we took so long to complete it officially. i never had to stay back in school till so late before just to finish up a project. awww we're so hardworking right i know :) thanks Danial for the drinks. it was so unexpected but thanks again! tmr's the presentation. omg finally get it done and over with please! then after presentation, gonna have to stay back to rehearse Gems skit. presentation is on this coming friday. so tired lah sighh. nvm syiqin endure! this is the last week of school. after that, END OF YEAR 1 HOORAY!! provided that i get promoted lah. oh ya then attachment. okay great i am so gonna die of exhaustion soon :/

i wanna take a day off to go to the beach, but when? i don't even have time to go get myself a new pair of shoes for no apparent reason, or just go to the library and borrow books. i'm so freaking busy :(

okay i should stop complaining now. syiqin go change your hair colour lah. it'll make you feel much better, it always does lol. turning in soon, or should i start my revision on seamanship for thursday's paper? hmm.

Goodnight.

2010-02-08T19:19:00.007+08:00

now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
and out of my mind
i'm over you now

Exam day 1. killer papers done! whoa i feel a ton of load lifted off my shoulders now. today was FLOG and Accountancy. i wouldn't expect to be doing well for FLOG, can't seem to get anything into my head. well, it was the first paper in the morning and i usually don't do well for morning papers as i tend to forget whatever i've studied the night before. totally like a waste of my time :/ as for Accountancy, i managed through. well better attempt this time round compared to last term's. just that i didn't have enough time to balance out the Profit&Loss Statement and the Balance Sheet. the value was pretty close to each other but i simply just couldn't find the goddamn value that was in the way lah! so eventually the invigilator said time's up, and guess what i missed out? writing down my name -.-'

after the paper, diverted my route home to Jp for a while. i needed retail therapy although my eyes are hurting badly cos of my contact lenses. as i wandered around aimlessly though with an aim to buy apparels (lol), i couldn't find anything that please me. so eventually, bought myself mascara as a reward for my hard work and hardcore revision today :) what's wrong with me nowadays? the urge to shop has suddenly disappeared when i'm already at the shops. this cannot be! nvm. i shall find time, probably next week to go to the Flea Market which Nadya once told me about.

have to start rehearsing for Gems soon. tell me when, when! i don't wanna do one-man show, i scared ah lol. Marine Engineering tmr. thank god it's an afternoon paper. yeay i like! ^.^ but the topics are killing me. sighhh. seamanship too, another paper with killer topics. but that's on thursday hehehe :B

sometimes i do miss my long fringe. sometimes only ah hahaha

okay gonna rest now. studying soon! goodnight.

2010-02-07T23:12:00.007+08:00

my human instinct, i can love unconditionally
so ironic that a heart made by man, when broken is easily fixed
but a human hurt can last a lifetime
ignorance is bliss i wish i could never love you

i'm actually kindda traumatized by Valentine's Day. i don't have a date and i don't care. no wait, actually i turned down a date, better that way. whenever it comes to going on a date on Valentine's Day, i strongly believe that i'm jinxed. my date will either cancel it few days before, or he will just ditch me on the day itself. yeah sadly it happens, to me. so i rather go out with my girlfriends, but i bet they have dates too. oh well, worst to worst i'll just end up working on that day or stay at home and sleep lol.

nevertheless, i still wanna watch Valentine's Day. showing in cinemas on 11 Feb :)

i finally got my answers today. let's put it in simple words- you're fucking bullshiting me again, just like how you did all these while. oh don't go around saying "Fitnah lagi teruk dari membunuh". i'm just another one of your play toys. actions speak louder than words lah please *rolls eyes*. if you really truly care and love someone, you wouldn't be afraid to go into a relationship with that person. you'd go through thick and thin together, regardless of anything. don't tell me, "I want to but I don't want to be in a relationship". i bet you said that to the other thousand million girls lah. it's either you want to or you don't want to. period. truth is, you're just afraid of commitment. you're so afraid of falling that you think once you fail, it's the end of the world. you think you're the only one who's so busy? you think everyone else is so free ah, got nothing better to do? well whatever. at least i let myself be heard today. whether you heard me or not that's your problem. i've made my decision, and this time round nothing can change my mind. so later ten years down the road, i won't have a single thing to regret.

please don't bullshit me again that the ring you're wearing was from our previous relationship okay thanks. don't anyhow swear lah. tak erti dosa pe main sumpahsumpah?

Goodnight.

2010-02-06T21:24:00.006+08:00

remember all the things, we wanted
now all our memories, they're haunted
we were always meant to say goodbye

i always have 1001 things to blog about. i'll have so many ideas racing through my mind and eventually when i logged into this dear website of mine, i'll end up tapping my fingers on the keyboard instead, not knowing what to blog about. maybe i'll just sum things up with my day at work today. two words to describe the couple today- very sweet. seriously, the bride sang for the groom on stage- a song that she composed by herself, and surprised him with a birthday cake as today was not only their wedding day but also his birthday. so the entire audience in the ballroom sang him a birthday song. it was really very touching. indeed, he was very lucky to have her as his bride :)

and so, i realized something today from the wedding. better to speak your heart now, rather than ten years down the road when you're already sitting at your dresser with the stylist doing your hair and everything else on your wedding day, then you start pondering about what you could have done when you had the chance to. just because you're afraid to get hurt, you keep things to yourself and not let yourself be heard. in the end, you're the one at the losing end and before you know it, you're too late. you can't possibly back out at the last minute on your wedding day, right?

"Why do I love you? Because, even when I've foolishly let go of your hand, you've never let go of mine. And for that, I thank you and love you even more."

Goodnight.

2010-02-04T22:30:00.006+08:00

and everytime we're both at war,
you make me come around
what is the reason, when you could have any man you want
i don't see what i have to offer
it's like you love me more than i love myself

i am finally done with Dreamweaver yessaaaaa! ^.^ i tell you. you don't know how euphoric i am completing that assignment. i am so very stressed with alot of things already though i don't look stress hahahah. i look like a mad woman lah lol. you know what i feel like doing now? go to the supermarket located in front of my house and buy white kinder bueno. i wanna reward myself lol. alasan seh syiqin! exams next week and i've yet to study. this semester's exams cover really lots of topics, seriously wearing me out. thank god this sunday im not working. at least i can rest and chill out, not to forget STUDY. goodness i really have no life sia.

BUT i did something today and im pleased with it :) went to Cotton On at Jp after Poly Marina. initial plan was to WINDOWSHOP ONLY. but then ah! they're having sale omg lah! so i planned to treat myself at least one dress or skirt or whatever. BUT THEN! suddenly i don't feel like buying any clothes today though the temptation was great, don't ask me why. in the end, i bought myself accessories- second item 50% off. worth it what haha! i've already lost my ring from Diva, which i've yet to figure out HOW ON EARTH DID I MANAGE TO LOSE THAT HUGE FAT WHITE STONE RING. BUT STILL! i wanna buy myself clothes, i don't have enough HAHAHA! maybe i'm gonna make plans for this sunday, probably go shopping. i wanna buy shoes, maybe at Rubi or Bugis or Trendy Zone. omg i sound so bimbotic lah please haha!

well, heard that Sentosa entrance fee ticket is gonna increase to 7bucks. is it really true? please tell me it's not cos the only reason i fork out money just to go to Sentosa cos the beach is clean, compared to East Coast and all the other beaches in Singapore. eeeew. so paying just to chill out at the beach is worth it when it comes to Sentosa. if it's true that they're gonna increase the price, then i'd rather be an Islander, more worth it ah now with the Theme Park coming up and everything else. but i really hope the price stays at 3bucks. what's with the government and increasing prices? think what? my father print money at home ah? nonsense.

should start cleaning off my nail polish now. okay maybe later haha. goodnight.

2010-02-03T22:07:00.003+08:00

but baby your love is so warm
it makes my shield melt down
do you know you're my miracle?

it has been quite a while since i blog properly, instead of those short snippets of sentences. ah my life free show&tell ah! interesting right i know ^.^ very good very good lol. sorry i very prasan jamban hehehe :P anyway, today i had IT practical- Fireworks. ah that one ah i can see fireworks everywhere already once the result is out. confirm die. okay i shall not talk about depressing school stuff, making me feel more depressed than i already am hahaha. well, after practical, went home and managed to take a nap for 30 freaking minutes! got set alarm clock somemore ah haha! woke up, bathed, got ready and went out again for attachment interview at Harbourfront. met Syafizah there cos she's been allocated at the same company as me too! :) Drydocks World. overall, the interview was interesting but the company was fairly challenging. hmm something different i guess? but im looking forward to it, i hope :) and it's super near to Vivo, plus point baby! if i ever get the job, IF LAH, waaah like that everyday after work i can go jalanjalan at Vivo till i get sick of it, like how im so sick of town now haha!

see see? another self obsessed picture of myself. got pimple on my forehead liao due to stress. cmon i wanna get it done and over with exams and all those freaking annoying projects lah! waste my time only tsk. ah very good lah eh say like that. they determine whether i get promoted to year 2 or not for next semester lol. now there enough said :B

Goodnight.

2010-02-03T00:48:00.002+08:00

im supposed to be studying right now- Fireworks. but then, i answered this phonecall and im enjoying every single moment of it. if only i could see you again, and you're smiling over the other end of the line now :)

Goodnight.

2010-01-31T22:31:00.005+08:00

i don't know why i feel so pissed off towards him. it's like, all the fury buried in me is starting to rise. i don't give a shit whether you wanna be my friend or whatever. to me, you're just plain bored that's why. though according to you, old flames shouldn't be rekindled, i just think it's best if you leave. i wanna move on and with your presence, you're making things very difficult for me to forget the past and those memories, let alone forget you. the more you stay around, the more attached i feel towards you, and the more hurtful i'll get. i don't want all that to happen. so please understand.

enjoyed my day today. went to Bugis and Town in search of Aisya's stuffs hahaha. then went home cos we were both super exhausted. iPod died on me on the way home :( we should go out often and have more night life with the usuals, need to take a break from this hectic life. sigh.

Goodnight.

2010-01-24T02:29:00.006+08:00

OH MY I SOOO LOVE MY FIRST BLOG SONG HAHAHA ^.^

i swear i am so dead beat now. work was tiring but still, got friends what. so okay lah hahaha! i think i may have to switch jobs soon. my current job is mentally disturbing me, with all the weddings and sweet&everlasting couples. making me doubt more into being in a relationship. oh wait! i don't have to switch jobs, attachment starts on the 15th of march. whoopee! :) ah don't be too excited about it syiqin. if i'm unlucky, 6months of hell. gosssssssssssh~

FINALLY. i have voiced out a piece of my mind. i can't sleep in peace if i don't confess. i'm being a bitch, a classy bitch haha! but still, i rather confess than to let the guy think differently.
well, it's just that i'm not ready you see. after everything that has happened, sorry to say this but i'm starting to stereotype guys just because one guy broke my heart oh-so badly and crushed my heart into gazillion pieces, without even saying sorry. why would he anyway? and ever since my heart got shattered, i begin to shatter other hearts even more. how, weird? i will not say that it's my fault or whatever. now i prioritize other more important things, like school, cos my brain is being lubricated from rust already -.-' i'm just chilling out now and waiting for that one special guy who will sweep me off my feet HAHAHA LOL! but always remember rule number one- all guys are bastards, unless proven otherwise. so in the meantime, check out the hotstuffs and cuties muahahahaha! :B

total bullshit. if someone loves you, he/she wouldn't even hurt you in the first place. goodnight.

2010-01-21T15:11:00.004+08:00

if i'm granted a wish about guys, here's one.

i wish guys who are sweet-talker motherfuckers, who give false hopes to girls, who flirt behind their girlfriends' backs, who claim that their girlfriends' are the ones being the bitch whereas all they ever wanna do is to contact some other girl and those who think that they can get any girl they want, DIE. oh and yes, i don't like having guys like these as friends.

take care.

2010-01-20T00:46:00.003+08:00

sometimes, letting go is best. cos if you hold on now, you may never know what might happen in the future. good things fall apart so that better things can take place. if it's meant to be, he'll come back. one day.

i never said that i don't believe in love anymore. i'm only saying that, if i ever get to be with the right one, now that's love. be strong girlfriend :)

Goodnight.

2010-01-17T09:41:00.004+08:00

fuuuh i am super drained from last night! Happy 18th Birthday Sherie! :) last night was fun. the games were awesome though it was kindda confusing. i have never seen such HUMONGOUS poker cards before haha! the people there were friendly, and it was easy to mix around with them. snapped some pictures here and there, waiting for Kak Liza to upload them all ^.^

came home at approximately 8.30am today, which was like just now hahaha! the train ride back home was damn long, pasir ris to boon lay, but i managed to resume back my sleep though my iPod died :( the one mistake i did last night was not having my dinner and i drank on an empty stomach. well i get hungry super easily so yeah :/ fortunately there were tidbits, so it kindda stopped my stomach from being upset for a while. reached home and immediately hit the showers. that's when i suddenly remembered something. my piercing.

where were you when i can't sleep at night? you were gone.

2010-01-16T02:05:00.004+08:00

well Raden's birthday surprise yesterday didn't go as smoothly as planned :/ but we did left a huge card in her bedroom on her bed. i hope she likes it. blame Puteri for not having any photos here, she haven't upload them yet though last night she insisted that she'll upload them today. LOL.

and the "surprise" party left me wondering today, how come i can do such sweet stuffs for my friends but never once for my boyfriend (in the past okay) ? it just adds up to the long list of why i shouldn't be attached now. i wanna be sweet to my boyfriend but with friends, somehow it comes naturally, the planning and all that stuff. see the difference? i try so hard to impress a guy but it never turns out as sweet, instead turns out to be a catastrophic. however with my friends, i was just being me. i have finally discovered another moment of truth about myself hahaha!

or is it simply because i choose not to get heartbroken again?

Sherie&Marilou's chalet|party tmr. i can feel the enthusiasm rising in me again. && i want another piercing tmr. i'm gonna drag Aisya together for moral support hahaha. can't wait! :)

Goodnight.

2010-01-14T09:45:00.008+08:00

I remember those simple things,
I remember 'til I cry.
But the one thing I wish I'd forget,
The memory I wanna forget,
Is Goodbye.

hello there i'm still in my baju-tidur. skipped my Poly Marina class today, first time ever. so sorry Captain i just don't feel like going to school today :/ you know what i need right now? Ikadjon, Ikabu and Cat. seriously, i feel like i'm back to Square One. i don't know whether to be grateful or not for this morning's incident. sometimes it's better not knowing but on the other hand, it resolves my dilemma. yes, i feel like shedding tears right now. i hope i don't bore Helmi with my silly questions. i just need a friend right this moment and Ikadjon has yet to reply my text message. i need to shop but i'm broke. i need to go to the beach but all my friends are currently in school. i need to get away from everything. i must.

the moment when i get everything i want- (for once in my entire poly history) above average grades, clothes, cash (most of the times), time, joy- i don't have someone whom i can truly share all those happiness and excitement with. yes i love all my friends but there's just something else. sometimes i get sick of spending all my money on myself. Ikadjon was right. i have so many clothes but i don't wear them often, instead i always wear the same old stuff. they end up collecting dust in my closet. truth is, retail therapy is just momentarily. i go screaming and being thrilled over a hot sequin dress for minutes and eventually, i wore it only once. just exactly like how it happened to my birthday dress :(

where are you friends when i need you the most? School -.-'. okay it's already 10am now and my mum has been interrogating me what time i'm going to school whereas she doesn't have a clue that i'm giving it a miss today. i've yet to hit the showers still. shit laaaah.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY RADEN NURHERYANY! chey chey dah legal sehh! ^.^ kalau pergi clubbing, ingatingat lah kita yang belum ke tahap umur 18 itu, especially aku. hahah! hugss~ :)

2010-01-13T22:55:00.017+08:00

MARTIN JOHNSON! *screams*

SO HOT!! I LOVE HIS HAIR! :D:D:D hahahahaha! it's such a misery that i don't get the chance to go to Boys Like Girls concert this coming 28th Jan :( oh my i really wanna go lah please though tickets like bomb! for once, i don't care paying for something that cost $78 (the $98 tickets are sold out) just for a night of pure fun and excitement. IT'S SO GODDAMN WORTH IT LAH! though Umi said that it's the same as plugging in and listening to their songs in a hall room -.-'. it's different okay. you get to see them 'LIVE'. oh well. i still find him hot. his hair is like on fire gitu hahaha!

tmr Poly Marina day. i dread waking up early in the morning though i enjoy doing practical outdoor. hehehe! ^.^ then after school, projects :( then go home. oh my i lead such a sad and boring life. know why? cos i'm broke -.-'. for now lah eh lol. nvm, i'm so looking forward to this Saturday! *shakes butt* i hope the party is fun and the people there are friendly, plus good food lol. eeee Syiqin tak tau malu HAHAHA! :P okay this time round last party oookay? promise promise hehe! :) oh &&! i'm satisfied with my results cos i did way better this time round. i'm excluding Accountancy and IT here cos i'm such a dumbass in those two modules. i don't know how many dresses and accessories i bought to reward myself. self-motivation what. must have been alot but not as much as Puteri cos she's a shopping spree queen bee lol! i'm aiming for 'A's next term. i know i can do it hahaha! :)

i haven't been giving chances 'cause i'm afraid, too afraid that i'll fall back to where it all happens. Forgive me H.

Goodnight.

2010-01-13T01:08:00.005+08:00

i have just given up on clicking the troubleshoot button for MSN. i think the internet hates me alot. first, it was my internetweb page. i can't even complete my Marine Engineering assignment online lah. and now, MSN. but ironically, facebook is still running. weird i suppose. but nevertheless, i think it is a sign from heaven saying that i should go get some shut eye. HOHOHO :)

i shall begin ranting about my day today. okay here we go! today was rather a dull school day, as always. i've been paying attention now in class cos i left my sweetheart a.k.a Lappy at home for mama to use, and i realize that i absorb better information now compared to previous semester hahaha. LIKE DUHH RIGHT! -.-'. look at the bright side, no laptop means no distractions. plus, it's a killer bringing it to and fro all the time. ANYWAY. spent my after school hours at Bugis with Aisya and Puteri. shopped to get my dress for this Saturday (finally!). it isn't exactly a dress i would say. well whatever at least i have something nice to wear hehe! Puteri made THOUSANDS of pit-stops i tell you! attractive apparels do catch her attention fast man! no wait, i think i was too tired to even check out not-on-my-current-list stuffs. must save money already haha! she should start a flea market. then i can go buy her stuffs lol.

MSN STILL ROSAK! D:

i've been burying my head in a book during bus rides to school, which means that i cannot resume my sleep. that's unhealthy mind you, cos i'm beginning to develop a sleeping disorder. plus i don't usually sleep in class, unlike during Secondary School days. i think i should start looking out for eyebags. spoiling my image, not that i'm any pretty anyway hahaha! my Night Owls on Msn are the gereks. tak kenal boleh jadi kenal. just because we can't sleep at night. LOL!

Battlefield by Jordin Sparks is currently playing on iTunes playlist.

gosh i'm gonna rot soon on my bed. i can't find any source of entertainment cos i can't connect to MSN. grrr~ my friend request on facebook is still pending hahaha. okay random shitx! and so as i was saying, i can't sleep. okay i should stop blogging about why i can't sleep. wonder what's Ikabubu doing. i bet she's learning to play some song on the keyboard. or probably googling on guides for example; how to grow taller? coming from her, LAME SHIT I TELL YOU! HAHAHA! but yeah, i googled about Sumerian just now in school during lunch. plus about Space Law and Genesis. something about the US hiding some intelligence of some sort. in simple words, the extra terrestrials. in simpler words, Aliens. very fascinating. something Hendra would enjoy looking up to. he'll love it. well i wouldn't share anything about it to him, anyone except him HAHAHA.

Infinity by Guru Josh is currently playing on iTunes playlist.

i just realized that tmr's class starts at 8am. shit laaaah. okay i think i should go sleep now or else i can't wake up early tmr to smell the fresh morning dew. hehehe :) && i need to get at least a seat in the bus cos i wanna sleep though i doubt i'm gonna do that hahaha.

Goodnight.

2010-01-11T22:20:00.007+08:00

i used to be love drunk,
but now i'm hungover.
i'll love you forever,
but now it's over.

First up! I don't know what to wear for Sherie Marilou's Chalet|Party this coming Saturday. Seriously i don't. I managed to resolve my main problem; telling Mama any make up reason to overnight this Saturday. now got another problem, WHAT TO WEAR?!! Me and Aisya are cracking our brains just to figure it out. I think this problem of not knowing what to wear is stuck with us since like when, forever? Nak gi clubbing pon kene fikir pakai baju apa, ni stakat chalet pon kene lawalawa! -.- Ni Raden dengan Nadya ajak me go shopping tadi after school for Saturday but i turned them down cos i was super worn out plus eyeballs have been seeking mercy already. eh but i bet the chalet is like one of those hyped up one lah. that's why i'm panicking. and me and Aisya are both broke. the kind if this week money is spent then next week must fast already. da lah my eyes hurt like toots thanks to my contact lenses. Next time right Syiqin, don't use Maxi Eyes! Not suitable though the colours are freaking nice lah. baaah :/ Ni Helmi pon satu! Message tak tau nak reply. Handphone can throw far far away laaaah. I know lah i have unlimited sms. Gerams.

I should focus more on completing those annoying projects. Haunting me so badly in my dreams man! Know what's the similarity in those two projects? Both involve maths. Wanna know what's the other similarity? I HATE MATHS.

To all my O Level graduates-friends, CONGRATS! :)

2010-01-10T01:51:00.005+08:00

My favourite line was, "Can i call you sometime?"

It's easier said than done. Running away may sometimes be more fruitful than facing reality. Sometimes. Dashing all hopes, it just shatters the vulnerable heart so quickly. And yes, those crack lines will always be there no matter how hard you try to change things. What's the point of working your ass off so hard, whereas the place you're dutifully attached to just brings back those sweet moments but it feels like you've been stabbed in the heart a million times when thoughts of those beautiful bittersweet adventures start racing in your mind. All of a sudden, you feel your eyes swelling up, throat drying up and all you ever wanted to do next was, cry.

If only taking a step forward is simple. If only letting go isn't so difficult. If only i had a little bit of extra courage in me. If only i was just brave enough to get things done- everything would be different now.

2years and 14days of knowing you. 1year, 10months and 27days of being with you. 2years of being emotionally attached to you, one-sidedly. And there wasn't a phonecall, text message or any of your usual surprises to remind me of this simple sweetest day. For the moment, it finally struck me hard. You've left for real this time. Chances don't come by very often, and only a fool would let it pass so easily. That fool was, me.

Goodnight.

2010-01-08T22:57:00.005+08:00

First and foremost, i'm screwed for marine engineering assignment cos deadline was yesterday and i thought it was today -.-'. serious shit, i need to defroze my brain from the holiday season mood. anyway, i'm looking at the brighter side. yesterday's Poly Marina lesson was totally AWESOME! check out the pics and more on facebook yeah! :)

the reason why i look forward to school each morning: my friends and the fun in school. though i admit i don't really socialize alot in school :P but it's the laughter i always have with my friends, and nothing can take that away from me. i have a hectic schedule which completely involves going out with friends all the time, tonning and obviously working. yeah i may seem like a no-lifer but believe it or not, i finally found out that it actually DOES make me not think of unnecessary and stupid stuff. and yes, i am now very determined and strive to excel in my studies cos i also finally figured out that boys are my BIGGEST distraction and retail therapy is the BEST tissue paper whenever i'm so stressed up. so all these while, i know why i suddenly turn into a fucked up bimbo and dumbass stupid idiot in my studies. see lah Syiqin? always attached only hahaha! i've finally found my long lost interest in my studies and i'm motivated to do even better in the next MSTs, thanks to my partially-given exam results. oh except for IT and Accountancy. that one ah, buat pening kepala sak! grr.

every morning, i wake up to a new hope of life. the yearn to seek and discover what's out there. those flying butterflies in my stomach, that cute guy walking pass by. we can never predict what's the next line of the tale. patience is a virtue, as by what someone told me once. but sometimes, i wish things would just speed up because i'm tired of waiting.

Goodnight.

2010-01-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

i have finally regained back the time lost for blogging. i enjoy my life now, hahaha! i never really got the taste of freedom all these while. there has always been a guy in the way. however, i'm very much happier now thank you very much you're welcome :) for now, i don't wanna rush into things and be impulsive cos i learn that i prioritize my feelings more than my brain. it hurts alot whenever the heart shatters into a million pieces. well, i shan't go into further details nyett!~

i'm trying to aim for my dreams. HAHAHA. well, as you all know, i want to be an air stewardess ya i know LAUGH ALL YOU WANT! Grrr.~ and i won't let anyone get in my way. please lah, i know i'm realistic enough to know that i can NEVER be an air stewardess cos i've been labelled a midget by my friends|classmates thanks alot eh you guys. but still, demoralising my aspirations and inspirations. okay whatever syiqin LOL.

moving on moving on. retail therapy is awesome! my next bestfriend ah i tell you! now no boyfriend so the temptation of buying stuffs for bf has depleted completely. yeayness! *shakes butt* now, time to pamper myself ah muahahahaha! :D i must thank my friends for the introduction of retail therapy, though it has been buried deep within my soul, waiting to get out, and finally it's out. yes! oh and also, the wide circle of new friends made. i love them all. gerek to the maximum :) just don't remind me of the Truth or Dare iPhone dirty version game. yikes! but still, fun! :D

well that's all! i don't give a damn to whoever reads this cos i know nobody would read cos my blog has been shoved under my ass for quite some time already HAHAHA. goodnight all movie time! damn you projects! *curses* take care all.

If only i'm strong enough to not think about you at the end of the day despite cursing and swearing about you all the time.

2010-01-05T11:50:00.003+08:00

i will be on Hiatus from now on. see? whenever i say that i'll be on Hiatus, i won't be. but when i'm gone, i won't state it. bahahaha. anyway i doubt anybody reads my blog since i keep on changing links. so it's like im talking to myself. nyett!~

taggers; i love you all :)

2009-12-08T14:19:00.007+08:00

MANY MANY APOLOGIES FOR ALWAYS CHANGING LINKS! TYVVM FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME. I LOVE YOU! :)

this is an updated post.

i just wanna have a brand new chapter and forget the past. i don't mind burning all the photos and everything else but i can never forget him. cos somehow, he's stuck in my mind 24/7. it's not worth it cos it still hurts so very much but for some reason which i don't know what, im still holding on though im sick of starting everything back from Square 1. i know it's my fault. everything is my fault. thanks to my suckish attitude and my bullet train mouth. i am so goddamn irritating. if only it doesn't work that way anymore, i really don't mind giving it another last shot. but i know it won't, cos he'll never come back. takecare.

-

-

-

i wanna try to do something reckless. something that i've been wanting to do for quite some time but i can't cos im not allowed to, by Hendra. yes, he's the only one who i'll listen to cos he's the only one who can knock some sense into my head. he has been sheltering me from all evil and the bad stuff of this world. so each time whenever i go out, i would feel this layer of protection around me and whenever i wanna do something stupid for the fun of it, i'll hear his voice in my head, telling me no, even though we broke up already. creepy right? ya i know but that's how it is. the only time i can do the stuff i want is being un-attached with him. but still, at times i can still hear his voice in my head, his familiar irritating/pissed off voice: "Don't be stupid lah! Takmo merepek boleh tak?!" but why should i stop if he's obviously doing something that i don't like also? like flirting with some girl. probably he's already hooked up with someone now. who doesn't know Hendra. merepek. hahahahahaha. okay i think i should go home now. my right eye contacts is starting to hurt already. byebye! :)

should i go to the Siloso Countdown beach party or the Marina Bay one? hmm.

2009-12-06T20:10:00.002+08:00

you can never have the things you really really desire. im upset and disappointed, but i cannot do anything about it, except for apologizing. im just so confused. i hope i can make it through exams the whole week feeling like this :(

takecare

2009-12-06T10:50:00.007+08:00

i should have answered Hendra's phonecalls last night. i should have. you wanna know why i behave so childishly and being so goddamn fucking annoying whenever im with Hendra? cos im really so very happy. maybe only close friends would know this. even when i let other guys enter my life, i wouldn't be as hyper as i was when with him. i can just say anything i want and i feel so ever for once carefree, like nothing in the world ever matters, except for exams of course. but sometimes for some reason, i can never be able to please him. i can never make him happy the way he makes me ecstatic. i don't know why. it's really upsetting but i cannot do anything about it. cos to him, whatever i do, it just worsens things even when my pure intentions were to make things right. i can only tell him that im sad which obviously doesn't make any impact on him. i don't even know how he feels sometimes. angry, happy or sad. or maybe he's just putting up a show to be happy around me. seriously, im clueless. i think im too nice. i let him work things out but he doesn't give me a chance to do the same. i contradict my feelings alot. fuck with the 18th birthday surprise. fuck with the super great idea for the coming 2nd year anniversary. i don't even know why i work so hard for.

i told Levon this last night, "I feel that im never good enough for him. I've been trying so hard to be perfect for him but i can never know what he really wants." tell me, which human being wouldn't be sad?

2009-12-04T11:32:00.002+08:00

i am so stressed up with ITSB now. this module is killing me. 5 BLOODY CREDITS?! CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?! IT ISN'T EVEN AN OPEN BOOK EXAM LAH!! see? im so stressed already :(

i wanna stop being annoying and less hyper. i find myself really irritating but i just can't seem to stop myself from talking. i pity my boyfriend. he has to bear with my annoyance everytime. im sorry b. i just can't stop myself from talking. im tired of talking always, but i JUST CAN'T SEEM TO STOP.

2009-12-01T12:16:00.006+08:00

you know sometimes, i feel like chopping my dearest boyfriend into tiny pieces and cooked him with Curry. it'll be sumptuous i supposed, probably with a little bit taste of liquor cos he is totally full blast not halal. hahahahaha. but on the other hand, i feel blessed having him cos i think no guy can ever stand my daily rantings and my pms and so the tak-perlu unreasonable perangai. well he's the only one who can stand out, knowing that the best bribe ever is either chocolates, or food. yummeh! he'll say im not fat though everyone knows that is just a BIG FAT LIE, and i know he said that cos for one simple reason: he wants me to be happy. and when i pestered him for the truth, he'll finally admits that im fat and when i sulk at this ugly truth and scolded him for lying, all he'll ever say is, I just want you to be happy B. see what i mean? bittersweet son of a bitch, yet i still love you Mashmellow, cos your cheeks so soft like mashmellow. muahahahaa! :) but you know what's the contradicting part? he urges me to lose weight, but he keeps feeding me more. how contradicting is that? very.

i should get my ass out to work cos i wanna stop babyy from paying everything. im so not used to being pampered this much cos i really prefer paying using my own cash. but i love it when he spends on me cos every single cent he spent on me, it is equivalent to a reduction of cash he would be able to use for cigarettes. and so, i can stop cursing him of having lung cancer and an earlier death. im not evil. im just being caring in an evil way :D

yes, i don't have my boyfriend with me 24/7 like how most couples do. he doesn't fetch me from school, nor sends me off to work. we don't spend alot of time together, walking hand in hand around town or vivo or wherever like how others do. but what im thankful for is, he'll always be there for me. though sometimes situation gets difficult for him, he always tries to get things right for one simple reason: to make me happy. okay this is supposed to be a secret but nothing on blogs is ever a secret. Lol. i feel so touched whenever i get so pushy and Hendra would be so pissed off and he'll screamed at me saying, "I just want you to happy! Be thankful lah!" hahaha!
have i mentioned that im evil? oh ya, i said im not. Lol! -.-'

im sick now, and so is he. jiwa or what? ^.^

2009-11-30T12:45:00.004+08:00

i tell you. i am so veryvery sad and annoyed now cos of my nose like running tap water on full blast. i'm sad because i cannot really pay much attention in class as this is a crucial week because exam is NEXT WEEK. imagine this *builds bubbles of thoughts in head*. lecturer talking talking talking and my nose keeps on flowing flowing flowing and i keep on blowing blowing blowing. how annoying is that? very okay! i macam nak pack up my things and go home and sleep. geram seh. pagipagi makan panadol FluMax pon tak gune. how come eh? haiya. i overdose pon okay jugak eh. see lah? i am so pathetic and merepek :(

so as i was saying. should i go home now? i am wasting my precious most expensive time here in class, holding back my mucus from dripping and in time feeling so sleepy cos i don't know why&how having flu makes me feel supersuper sleepy. and in one way or another, i will talk nonsense. well not that i sprout nonsense every single time but i complain and sprout more nonsense which now i realize that i've been talking about the same thing over&over again. see? told you i'm sick. i wanna hug Hendra so tightly now though i still hate him cos he actually looked at that SLUT'S SUPER FLAT RED ASS who was so drunk and made a total fool out of herself by dancing on stage and let all the guys touched her around and smacked her ass. and you know what's the best part? she was having a ball of a time doing that, with guys touching her all over. what a slut! i'll be the first to laugh out loud if she gets raped. HAHAHA SERVE YOU RIGHT FOR BEING SO EXTRA CHEAP BITCH!

okay bye.

2009-11-30T10:40:00.000+08:00

I HATE HENDRA! I WISH HE DIES FASTER. LIKE NOW!

2009-11-26T08:21:00.003+08:00

okay this is an updated post!

words can't describe how euphoric i was last night. it was indeed the sweetest birthday surprise ever. i swear i wanted to cry when baby's colleagues brought out the cake and there's this two guys sang an acoustic birthday song for me. those guys were like those Mexican restaurants in TVs whereby there are people singing in restaurants using only the acoustic guitar while guests are dining. it was really sweet, after Hendrabie lied that there wasn't any surprise except for just dining. i was holding back my tears when i saw the cake cos i don't want my watermelon face to drop. hahaha. when i reached home, there was another surprise. my 8year-old sister baked cookies for me, with the help of my mother of course. it was really nice. && my mama bought me a chocolate fudge birthday cake. super yummy i tell you! so overall yesterday, i had two birthday cakes in total :) thanks for the wishes on facebook people! and the flooded text messages. thank you Fathimah for the whole box of chocolates. thank you Hendra sayang for the ferrero roche. thank you so very much. more pictures on facebook! :)

thank you baby for the sweetest surprise ever on this planet and even that Nebouru or whatever planet you believe in. i love you baby. Happy sexy seventeen Syiqin! :)

2009-11-25T09:58:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO SYIQIN a.k.a ME!

i find my mama very super cute yesterday. see below for convo.

me: Ma, tmr my birthday taw!
mama: huh? today December eh?
me: *face expression changes* no. today is November.
mama: so tmr your birthday lah?
me: *pissed off tone* ya lah!
mama: oh no wonder lah! just now mama and adik go jurong point buy ice-cream. i thought i want to buy for you. then skali da bayar semua, mama lupa why i buy the ice-cream. then me and adik makan lah. oh your birthday tmr ah! *laughs* mama forget lah!
adik: ya lorh mama! you so old already! tmr kakak syiqin's birthday also don't know.

i tell you. PURE EVIDENCE! she is soon gonna realize that she is getting old. see lah? i told her she's old already then she still don't wanna accept. muahahaha :D oh and yeah. i underestimated Hendrabie's surprise. i don't even have plans of how to dress up really nice lah, except for the dress. shit. die.

2009-11-24T14:14:00.001+08:00

1 MORE BOMB DAY TO MY BIRTHDAY! YEAY! ^_^
so what Syiqin? no biggie.

2009-11-23T10:09:00.003+08:00

if only im a gleeful girl today, like the above picture. haiya. i want that Monsoon Accessoriez colourful BEANIE!!~ :D